


From a God, With Love

by Egotisticalfloof



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: "Demon" Shane Madej, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Demonic Possession, Frotting, Hallucinations, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mild Gore, Nightmares, Nipple Play, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2019-07-13 03:19:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 23,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16009214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Egotisticalfloof/pseuds/Egotisticalfloof
Summary: “Only a Soulmate can see your scars” -  Shane Madej learnt there was something special about scars as a child, but he didn’t believe in soulmates over love. Ryan Bergara wears all his scars with pride and believes that one day he will find his perfect match. When they see each other’s scars for the first time, things are revealed to be a lot more complicated than it seems, and Shane’s scars have a deeper meaning than just revealing his soulmate. As a child Shane had spoken to the darkness, and the darkness had spoken back.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys!! Welcome to my first Buzzfeed Unsolved Shyan fic!! Well, it’s not the first I’ve written, but it’s the first that’s getting posted xD It’s going to explore the idea of soulmates, demonic possessions and deals, and a lot of other things as well! But, here’s chapter one, the build up of it all.

 

 

Shane learnt there was something special about scars as a child. It was an accident really, his brother had hit him with the hoe used for gathering their crops, and it had cut Shane deeply. He had joked about it leaving a big scar, only for his brothers to tell him that human’s didn’t scar. To Shane that made no sense. There was indeed a large scar on his arm where the hoe had bit into his flesh, puffy and white and feeling like gelatin to the touch, but when he tried to point it out, his family couldn’t see it.

His mother would say that scars were a personal thing, an existence only for their bearer to see. She had scars from a childhood accident, but no one could see them, not even Shane’s father. Shane wasn’t sure he liked that. He wanted to be able to see other people’s scars. It felt almost as if people could hide their true self from other’s, bare only the most beautiful part of themselves and hide what others might see as horrid, or unseemly. It lead to experiments that sometimes got him into trouble, hurting people to see if the scars would show up because they had been done under his hands.

The day he learnt his mother’s words were wrong was also the day his family split apart. Shane was fourteen years old, and the neighbour’s wife had come over to help yarn some clothes with Shane’s mother. Shane was fiddling with his scar, and asking his mother questions. The neighbour’s wife said that Shane’s father had a scar, two in fact. One on his back from a farming accident and the other on his hand, where he had lost a finger.

Shane’s mother went very quiet when she heard that.

There was a blazing argument between his mother and father later on that Shane didn’t fully remember. She was livid and confused. He was defensive and just as confused. Shane watched, his brothers trying their best to keep the peace, but it was no use. His mother accused his father of cheating and the family split apart. Shane had to choose to go with his mother or his father, at age fourteen, to either keep his mother or continue to learn his father’s trade.

He wanted neither.

In the dead of night he wandered into the cornfield by their house and sat in the dead centre, legs crossed, eyes closed.

And he spoke to the darkness.

“I want to be able to take control of my own life and do my own thing. I want to punish those who break apart love. I want to...be able to breath.”

Shane never expected an answer, but that night, as a chill wind blew and his family lay in ruins, the darkness spoke back.

Life was never the same after that.

As the years rolled by, research was put into scars, and the reason why only certain people could see the scars of someone else. A tentative theory was formed that the every person in the world had a “soulmate”, and that it was only soulmates that could see each others scars. Whether true or not, the world ate it up and soulmates became the most important thing.

For Shane, ever since that day in the cornfield, his life had been spent watching from afar as the war raged between those who believed soulmates were everything and those that believed love was more important. No one had ever been able to see his scars.

No human anyway.

For someone like Shane it made existence easier. If people had been able to see his scars he would have been labelled a freak. A Satanist. A witch during that hysteria. A demon.

People called him that now anyway.

The whole idea of soulmates was ridiculous anyway, and he didn’t care about it as a concept. No one was going to love him, scars or not. He was a dangerous man.

It did raise an interesting question for him though. Were humans the only creatures with soulmates? Could demons have them? Did demons classify as having souls in that sense? And for Shane, somewhere in the middle, what did it mean for him? Shane had never come close to an answer but in the year two-thousand and eighteen he got the chance.

He could see all scars, on every single person he came across after all, and no one saw his.

No one, except Ryan.

When you’d lived for a long time, any job was better than the numbness of waiting for any potential end that was unlikely to happen, so Shane had gone through many. Buzzfeed was just another tick in the long list of things Shane had done. It was fun, a distraction from the pained existence he had become, and it gave Shane the perfect excuse to hide himself away.

Shane had perfected hiding his scars by the time Ryan came into his life. Since he didn’t really care about soulmates, and probably didn’t have one, it was easier to avoid the questions that would come if anyone could see  his mess of flesh. Ryan believed in soulmates, believed his was out there and was excited to meet them. He believed in the supernatural and hunted for ghosts and the occasional demon and Shane played the sceptic to him. Ironic, but Shane was happy to do it. Some people needed pushing away from a terrible fate after all, and Ryan was one of those people.

Despite the heat of LA, Shane lived in jumpers and chinos. Or jeans. And hats. He always had a beanie one no matter how sweltering the day was, his jumpers or shirts always hid his neck and the only skin ever visible was his face, ears and hands. Everyone was used to it and no one questioned it. Ryan wore what one would expect from someone born in LA. He dressed for the weather and wasn’t afraid to show off his body, and the scars that came with it.

It was a very conscious effort on Shane’s side not to mention Ryan’s scars. He liked them, honestly, because Ryan was so open and honest about them. He had a small scar on his eyebrow from a childhood accident, and one solitary scar on his arm, a result of experimentation with self-harm. Shane knew that because he had seen self-harm scars countless times before.

Ryan wore it with pride.

Shane supposed that was easy when no one could see them.

He could pinpoint the exact moment his relationship with Ryan had transcended work colleagues to friends to maybe something more. Well, it would be something more if they were soulmates, but Shane didn’t want to test the theory that someone out there could see his scars.

They were at a club, celebrating finishing a season of Unsolved. Honestly Shane’s mind was blank on whether it was True Crime or Supernatural, the warm buzz of alcohol making it hard to focus on anything but what was in front of him. That was Ryan, dancing and grinning and laughing and just having such a good time.

The club was damn hot and Shane was still completely covered to stop any mistakes happening, but Ryan has his shirt unbuttoned down to his pecs and his hair was plastered to his head with sweat. There had been a question over why Shane was wearing a hat that Shane had batted away.

All of Me was playing.

“I love this song!” Ryan crooned, laughing as he stumbled as he tried to sway to the music. Shane caught him and Ryan’s breath caught as his hand touched the scar on his arm.

Pulling a face to hide the fact that Ryan’s scar was warm under his hands, Shane replied, “Of course you do it’s a love song.”

Ryan swatted his arm and pulled from his grip, “I don’t just like love songs.” He declared, “I just have good taste in music!”

“Mmhmm, you just like ‘love’.” Shane commented and Ryan beamed.

“I do! I love the idea of love! And you my friend are so cynical, you’ll scare people away.”

Refraining from saying to Ryan that it wasn’t his cynical view towards soulmates that would scare people away, Shane gave a generic response he didn’t even remember and the night went on.

And just like that they were friends.

Or as friendly as they could be. Ryan would complain sometimes that he couldn’t come round to Shane’s flat when Shane basically lived at Ryan’s as soon as he had access. Shane laughed it off, and Ryan didn’t press, which was good. There was good reasons Shane didn’t want Ryan in the hellhole he called home, and the fact that it was a mess was not one of them.

And though he didn’t really believe all that much in soulmates, Shane was beginning to discover the benefit of love. Of loving someone. He was even starting to understand the argument that love should win over the idea of soulmates. By all intents and purposes he and Ryan were a good fit. They gelled perfectly both on and off screen, they had similar tastes in certain things and neither was worried about offending the other in telling them when they were annoying, or stupid, or just plain wrong. Physical contact was no problem, within reason for both of them, and they spent so much time together and yet were never sick of each other. Both had differing opinions but it worked so well, and had Ryan not been dead set on finding his soulmate and Shane on not allowing there to be a chance someone could see his scars, they would been together.

Shane really wished things could have been different. He could have been happy with Ryan.

It was a mistake when it happened.

Just like everything else in Shane’s life, an accident led to a distinct and life changing realisation. They had been filming an episode of Unsolved, arriving back at their hotel at four am and having to quietly get ready to grab a handful of hours of sleep while dealing with the elation that came from hunting ghouls deep into the night. Shane was in the bathroom, hair mussed from wearing a hat all day and skin finally able to breath as he stood in his boxers, brushing his teeth and giving himself a moment before he fully covered himself up. Ryan was sorting out the bed, since they were sharing one tonight. He liked to set a barrier between them, said it was because he wanted to properly share a bed for the first time when he saw his soulmate, but Shane knew the truth - Ryan was a clinger. Whenever they had shared a room, Shane had woken first to find Ryan clinging to whatever he could. He wanted a barrier between them so he wouldn’t end up clinging to Shane, and for Shane that was fine.

Apparently Ryan had finished and had decided Shane had spent enough time in the bathroom, as he knocked on the door and pushed it open to say something teasing just as Shane was attempting to brush his hair over the scars on his head to hide them. He couldn’t really sleep in a beanie after all. Freezing as Ryan barged into the room, a million thoughts rushed through Shane’s mind and his hand shot out for his pyjama shirt to hide his chest but Ryan’s words had already died in his throat as he took in Shane’s form.

“Ho-holy shit.” Ryan whispered, his eyes focused dead centre on Shane’s chest, where the biggest and most intricate scar was. The one he wanted to hide above all others.

Fuck.

His reaction was visceral, shoving Ryan out of the bathroom and slamming the door, locking it this time for good measure. Ryan was silent on the other side, clearly trying to process what he had just seen, and Shane felt his breath quickening as panic threatened to overtake him. 

Had Ryan been able to see his scars? Or was he simply distracted because he had never seen Shane without any clothes on?

He hoped it was the latter.

Yanking his shirt and pants on, Shane rummaged for his hat too and fixed it onto his head, shaking as he felt his eyes burn. No, he would not cry, would not break down here, he would not give anything the satisfaction of that. He didn’t know Ryan had seen anything yet.

Ryan knocked on the door, shaking Shane from his thoughts and Shane jumped.

“Shane? I...I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have...Umm well, I should have waited.” Ryan’s voice was muffled through the door and Shane waited for him to continue with baited breath, waited for him to confirm he hadn’t seen anything when-. “Can you open the door? I...I just wanna...Shane are you okay? Those scars-.”

“What scars?” Shane snapped on instinct. He needed to be sick. “You’re seeing things.”

“No I’m not.” Ryan scoffed, “Please open the door. You can’t hide in there forever.”

That was true, but there was a window that Shane could escape from, although there would be questions if anyone saw him since their hotel room was on the fourth floor. Hands shaking, Shane reached over and unlocked the door, but he didn’t open it, leaving it to Ryan to come in. And when he did, he almost looked disappointed that Shane had covered himself up.

“Those...scars.” Ryan repeated, “I...that...that was a demonic symbol!”

And it was.

Smack bang in the middle of Shane’s chest was a demon’s sigil, surrounded by other markings as well that all signified one thing, and Shane could see Ryan’s mind running over time to try and figure it out.

His first guess was funny.

“Are you secretly a Satanist?”

Shane couldn’t stop the snort of laughter.

“I’m not a Satanist.” He laughed.

Ryan did not look convinced, but Shane fixed him with a look that left no room for argument on that guess. He was not a Satanist, not by a long shot. The next guess that came was closer to the truth, and something Shane could work with.

“Are you a demon?”

The words had been whispered so quietly that had the door still been closed Shane wouldn’t have been able to hear them. With Ryan standing in the room, the words were clear as day, and Shane took a soft breath.

“It’s complicated.” He replied, “I’m…it’s a long story. Ryan…I’m sorry.”

“Why?” Ryan asked.

“I…Soulmates are important to you.” Shane said simply.

“Soulmates?”

Frowning, Ryan’s eyes automatically went to the most visible of his scars, the one on his arm. Shane reached out and gently rubbed his finger along it, silently telling Ryan that he could see the scar. That he had always been able to see the scars. Always. Ryan’s breath caught in his throat and his eyes flicked back up to Shane’s face, where the man was looking extremely guilty.

“I…you’re…we’re soulmates?” Ryan gasped out, “No that’s…what?”

It was understandable for Ryan to be confused, and for a moment the two of them stood in perplexed silence as Ryan tried to process the entire revelation he had just gone through.

“Can I…I…see them?” Ryan asked quietly, “Um…the scars I mean?”

That was not the request Shane had been expecting and he wasn’t entirely sure what to say. Ryan clearly thought he’d crossed a line as he looked embarrassed and went to leave the bathroom, but something in Shane told him to stop Ryan and show him. If anyone was going to understand it was someone like Ryan, someone who had done a lot of research and knew a lot about demons. Reaching out, Shane grabbed Ryan’s wrist again and pulled him back into the bathroom.

“Please don’t freak out.” He muttered, before grabbing the edge of his hat and pulling it off. Ryan took a sharp breath as his eyes took in the scars on the top of Shane’s head. They were remnants of where his horns had once been, ripped from his head and jagged, scars and wounds so deep that Shane’s hair wouldn’t grow there anymore.

Ryan took a few small steps towards Shane, fingers trembling as he extended his arm and slowly pressed a finger into the scars, running over them with an extremely soft touch. Shane held his breath as Ryan’s other hand came up to touch the other scar as well. It was an oddly intimate experience, and Shane couldn’t stop his breaths coming out shakily, entire body tense as Ryan explored.

“And…the rest of them?” He whispered.

Shane nodded and pulled off his shirt as carefully as he could, there was not a lot of room between he and Ryan now. With the fabric gone, Shane was fully bared before Ryan.

“Holy shit.” Ryan repeated again, and this time he was a little more hesitant to touch.

When he tried to, Shane caught his wrist and shook his head. “Please don’t.”

“What…what happened to you?” Ryan breathed, his voice shaking just as badly as he was, and Shane felt guilty for letting his scars be seen. God, Ryan didn’t deserve to see this. He didn’t deserve a soulmate like him.

“I was punished.” Shane admitted, “It was a long time ago, but I…they all have meanings.”

“I know.” Ryan nodded, fingers hovering just above Shane’s skin as he looked down the sigil on Shane’s chest, the eyes on his shouders, to the summoning symbol and pentagram over his naval, and the counter marks all over Shane’s ribs and sides, stretching around his back. Without a word, Shane turned so that Ryan could see his back as well, and Ryan’s breath caught again. Another eye, a summoning circle with unfamiliar symbols inside it, another pentagram and two snakes devouring each other at the dip of his spine. On top of that, there were more counter marks, and scars on Shane’s shoulder blades and base of his spine where it seemed Shane’s tail and wings had been when he had been a demon.

If he had a been a demon.

None of the powers of a demon, but all the marks.

“God Shane…do they hurt?” Ryan asked. “They look painful.”

“No.” Shane shook his head, although he could see why Ryan thought they were. They looked red and raw, but when Ryan reached out to touch the pentagram over Shane’s spine, he found it didn’t feel like a normal scar. No, it felt…as if it had been pushed out from below his skin and Ryan snatched his hand back.   
“Ryan-.”

“No one else has ever seen these scars?” Ryan inquired, and Shane shook his head, still facing away from Ryan by able to see him in the mirror. His face was pinched with confusion, distress and fear, but there was something determined in his eyes as well. Something Shane had never seen before but wanted to see again and again and again. Ryan wasn’t going to walk away from him because of this, and that was all he need to know.

“Never, before you.” Shane confirmed, “Never.”

“I…what do they mean? Can you tell me?”

“I could.” Shane murmured, “But you wouldn’t like the answer and I…it’s hard to talk about.”

Biting his lip, Ryan didn’t push for the story, but his hands tentatively pressed against the scars on Shane’s shoulder blades and Shane went stock still, his breath stuck in his throat as Ryan explored. He stayed away from the summoning circle, fingers running along the eye at the base of Shane’s neck, touched the counter scars – over two hundred in bunches of five from one glance – and the other marks on his spine. Bracing himself against the mirror and curling his fingers against it so hard that his nails left scratch marks, Shane waited for Ryan to have his fill and only turned when Ryan’s hands left him.

“Have you always been able to see my scars?” Ryan questioned, turning his arm over so that his scar was in plain sight and Shane’s eyes were drawn to it. He nodded, one finger lightly rubbing along the scar and Ryan jumped under his hand.  
“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I can see everyone’s scars.” Shane said softly, “It’s just that no one has ever been able to see mine. So…if I had told you and then you hadn’t seen my scars…well…it would have crushed you. Maybe. I didn’t want to draw you into this world.”

“What world?” Ryan queried.

“This world.” Shane replied, gesturing at his entire chest. “Just…everything I am. It’s not a nice existence. I wish your soulmate could have been anyone else.”

Ryan looked pensive, chewing his lip again, before his hand went forward and pressed against the Sigil on Shane’s chest. Shane took a deep breath and reached up to grab Ryan’s wrist, but Ryan refused to move.

“I…I…it’s okay.” Ryan struggled with his words, “You…demons don’t have souls. Or anything close to resembling a soul. But you clearly do…you…you clearly do. You’re not a demon.”

“I’m not.” Shane nodded, “But…it is complicated.”

“You don’t have to tell me right now.” Ryan told him, “But I…can we…um…can I help you?”

“There’s nothing you can do.” Shane shook his head, but he still held Ryan close to him, Ryan’s hand directly against his chest, and his breathing hard. “Nothing.”

Ryan stepped a little closer and pushed himself up onto his toes, arms pushing up to until he was hugging Shane tightly. It was ironic that someone who was terrified of demons and someone punished and cursed by the demons themselves were soulmates, but here they were. And Ryan was…Ryan was an amazing person. If anyone was going to be able to understand, to free Shane from the pain he was stuck in, it would be Ryan.

Maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing after all?

Only time would tell.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Pay attention to the tags, they will change.  
> 

 

 

It was strangely easy to go to bed with Ryan after such a massive revelation and Shane had no idea why but neither of them made a big deal out of it. He lay on his side of the bed and Ryan lay on the other and silence fell between them. Neither of them were asleep at first, but they didn’t talk either and god it should have been so awkward but the stretching silence ended up being comfortable.

Or it was, until Shane felt a twinge in the back of his head and the sigil on the front of his chest began to burn. It was never a good sign when that happened and Shane had to bite his lip to stop himself from cursing. He didn’t want this to happen while Ryan was around, but it seemed there was no stopping it.

A lull fell over the room, and Ryan began to snore. Shane lay stock still on his front, eyes squeezed closed as he listened to the creaking of the room around him. Cracking sounds coming from the shadows of the corner of the room slowly became footsteps and Shane trembled as the bed dipped beside him. Refusing to open his eyes, he kept his mouth clamped shut as well until he felt claws lightly tap his chin and lips, a rasping voice ordering him to open up.

He opened his eyes first to find familiar, amber coloured eyes staring down at him from the shadowy figure leaning over him. Opening his mouth to tell the presence to leave, Shane choked when it too opened its mouth and a black substance trickled from its lips into Shane’s.

“Rise, Madej.” The creature said, fading as Shane arched off the bed and his eyes rolled back in his skull until only the whites remained.

Lips stained black, body shaking and cracking as he stood from the bed, Shane blinked once and one of his eyes flashed amber. Shaking steps took him to the mirror of the bathroom, ripping off his shirt to find every single symbol carved into him leaking blood.

“ _Did you think you could hide from me forever, Madej?”_ The same rasping voice came out of Shane’s lips without him wanting to and Shane wanted to sob.

“ _This makes you mine.”_ The voice continued, and this time Shane’s hand came up and traced the full sigil, spreading the blood coming from it around. When he had completed the full drawing, a shooting pain had Shane double over, as the presence that had possessed him stretched to take his entire body.

“No.” He whispered, “No!”

“ _You can’t fight me Madej. You never could.”_

Shane squeezed his eyes shut again and tried to will the presence away. He couldn’t let this happen when Ryan was so close by, couldn’t run the risk of hurting the human badly.

“ _We have a list. If he’s not on it, I don’t want him.”_

The skin around Shane’s ribs bulged outwards as if pushed by invisible hands, claws curling to puncture the skin in a thin line from Shane’s neck to his waist. Shane choked at the feeling, gripping the sink hard as his skin separated from his muscles and hung open in two large flaps, revealing the true scars as they had been carved into him. And clawed handprints against the muscles of his chest cavity.

“ _Give in Madej. You know you can’t keep this up. I will pick you apart bit by bit until you back down and it never takes me long. That human is safe.”_

“No!” Shane gasped, his voice cracking as the demonic rasp left it.

His lips parted again to speak, but before any sounds came out there was a knock on the door, and Ryan’s voice calling Shane’s name through it. Shane reacted violently to that, entire body heaving as he vomited up the black substance that had been poured into him and pushed the shredded skin of his chest back together. It glued together without even an inference that the presence had pulled him apart and Shane’s legs gave out on him as they did, feeling all his strength fade as the demon did too.

Ryan burst into the room at that, concerned for Shane’s well being.

“I’m okay.” Shane whispered before Ryan could speak, “I’m okay.”

“Sure you are.” Ryan muttered as he knelt down beside Shane. “You’re bleeding.”

“Fuck.” Shane cursed, shifting and looking down at where his chest was slowly becoming a myriad of red, “I’ll...I’ll be okay. They’ll heal.”

“Shane-.”

“Don’t touch them!” Shane cried, catching Ryan’s hand as he tried to reach out for the sigil. “Please! You’ll...he’ll come back.”

Ryan’s eyes widened at that, and he stood only to flick the bathroom light on and take in Shane’s full appearance. There was a blackness dripping from his lips still along with normal vomit, his body was shaking and he was flushed as if he had a fever, but Ryan could tell he was cold without even touching him. Whatever had happened in that bathroom before Ryan had come in was not good, and Ryan was suddenly terrified and itching for his holy water.

“I...who is he?”

Shaking his head, Shane reached out shakily for tissue to wipe his mouth and Ryan handed it to him, their fingers brushing for a second as he did. Electricity crackled between them for a moment and both took a sharp breath, before Shane snatched his hand back and hastily wiped at his mouth.

“Shane, who is he?” Ryan asked again. “Please tell me.”

“I can’t.” Shane whispered, “Not here. Not now…he was...he was so close.”

Ryan looked very much like he wanted to argue, but seeing the fear in Shane’s face, he decided against it.

“All this time, you’ve just been playing the sceptic?” He asked instead, a roundabout of getting Shane to tell him that yes, he was talking about a demon.

Nodding mutely, Shane pressed the heels of his hands into his eyes and fought back the urge to cry. God this was a mess. Ryan deserved a soulmate that wasn’t as broken as him, someone that could joyously spend their time with him, and now he was stuck with Shane.

“You...you shouldn’t let this tie you down.” Shane muttered after a moment. “I know you believe in soulmates but-.”

“If you’re my soulmate Shane, then we are meant to be.” Ryan interruped firmly, “And no demon is gonna stop that. I...I have to admit that I have been drawn to you. I wanted it to be you.”

“But-.”

“No buts.” Ryan said firmly. “Is it ideal? No, it’s not. Is it how I wanted to find out I had a soulmate? No. But are you the person I hoped it would be? Yes.”

Shane couldn’t stop himself from crying then, and he didn’t resist as Ryan wrapped his arms around him in a tight hug. They sat like that for a long time, until Ryan had nearly dozed off against Shane’s shoulder and they could hear their alarms going off in the bedroom. Neither wanted to move, but Shane shifted first.

“I’m gonna have a shower.” He muttered, “Then we should get ready to go.”

“Mm.” Ryan hummed his agreement and he stood from the floor, hovering close to offer Shane support if he needed it, but Shane managed to keep his feet and stumble to the shower. He felt numb, confused, dirty, but the warm water helped run it all away, and for the first time since Ryan had seen his scars, Shane was able to relax.

Ryan had packed up all their things when Shane stepped out of the bathroom, but he had left an outfit out for Shane, and Shane couldn’t resist a smile at the sight of it. A jumper, baggy enough to hide his neck and make sweater paws with if he so pleased, chinos and their customary ghost stomping boots. There was also a denim jacket, and Shane was thankful that Ryan knew him so well as he towelled himself dry and got dressed while Ryan grabbed a quick shower. It was with a deeply growing knot in his stomach that Shane noticed there were claw marks in the bed, on either side of where his head had been last night, and all he could do was hide them with a pillow and hope that the hotel wouldn’t chase them over it.

“Ready to go, big guy?” Ryan asked as he too stepped from the bedroom, hair askew from being towelled and god he looked beautiful. Why was Shane only just realising this now? Well, he had always thought of Ryan as beautiful, but it gave a twist to his heart now to see him so...so...perfect.

He was staring, and Ryan’s confused expression gave it away, so Shane nodded and grabbed their suitcases. “Let’s go.” He confirmed, “Back to LA.”

“Mm.”

There was an unspoken agreement between them that when they got back to LA they were going to talk and Shane was going to give at least a partial truth to what had happened, and that was fine. Ryan deserved as much.

Somehow the two of them managed to act normal around the crew, laughing and joking and teasing each other as if they hadn’t had the biggest revelation of their lives last night. Or Ryan’s life. Shane had had some pretty big revelations in his life so far. Still, they didn’t seem any different to anyone on the outside and yet everything had changed between them. They sat a little closer in the car, fingers brushing against each other as they flew through the streets towards the airport. Shane’s hand rested on Ryan’s back as they walked through the airport, and Ryan was a lot more conscious of where he placed his hands if he did touch Shane. On the plane, they sat next to each other, neither complaining about their proximity to each other, despite there being extra room on the plane. It just felt natural to them, and no one commented.

The night of no sleep caught up with Shane on the plane, and he could barely keep his eyes open. Ryan was watching the footage they had gotten from the latest location, leaning against the window as Shane occupied the aisle seat, and he made no attempts to move when Shane’s head dropped onto his shoulder as he fell asleep. Instead, he shifted so Shane would be a little more comfortable and made sure his jumper was still hiding all that Shane wanted it to, before getting back to work, content for Shane for dream on him.

As the plane went through a rather harsh bit of turbulence, Shane’s head hit the back of the seat and it jolted him awake. Ryan was gone from next to him, and Shane blearily thought that he must have clambered over Shane’s knees to go to the bathroom or something.

It was only when he smelt a familiar tangy iron scent in the air that Shane knew something was wrong.

Lifting his head, suddenly alert, Shane’s stomach twisted when he looked to his right and saw the passengers on the other side of the plane collapsed against their seat, body torn apart by clawed hands. Blood splattered the entire fuselage and Shane jumped from his seat with a yell, standing in the gangway as his eyes took in the massacre of the entire plane. A little way away from him lay Ryan, bloody, twitching, having clearly been running from him. Shane’s throat closed and he couldn’t scream, couldn’t even move, as he stared and stared and stared at Ryan’s body. Behind him he heard the cockpit door open and with immense trepidation Shane turned and his breathing quickened.

Darkness spread from the open door and just beyond it Shane could see the pilots slumped against their seats. A figure stood framed in the doorway, amber eyes and sharp teeth and and a crooked grin as Shane stood frozen to the spot.

“ _My my Madej, what have you done?”_

“No-nothing!” Shane protested, “I…I didn’t do this.”

The figure cocked its head to the side, “ _Why Madej, what bloody hands you have.”_

“No!” Shane cried, but his eyes were drawn down and his hands were covered in blood, it caked his skin and ran under his nails and Shane wanted to be sick.

The darkness came closer.

“ _Why Madej, what bloody teeth you have.”_

Shane choked as he tasted iron on his tongue, as he felt lumps of flesh and muscle stuck between his teeth and sliding down his throat. He clawed at himself, sobbing, as the figure came even closer and reached out to him, pressing one claw to the sigil on his chest, burning through his clothes.

“ _Why Madej, what a tainted soul you have.”_

“NO!”

Shane screamed and jolted upwards, only to bang his head rather hard on the overhead storage of the fuselage. He heard his name being said in confusion and concern, felt others coming towards him with equal concern but all Shane could see was red. Blood, viscera, bodies all around him and a figure laughing around his head. A hand touched his arm and Shane jumped away from it, knocking into someone behind him and collapsing to the ground as he heard the figure give an almighty “ _boo”_. Voices all melded into one and Shane buried his head in his hands to get them to go away.

“Sir! Please calm down!”

“Shane! Are you okay?! Shane!”

“Someone contact the police on landing! He’s nuts!”

“He’s not crazy! He just had a bad dream!”

That...that was Ryan’s voice. Shane latched onto that voice and Ryan’s name croaked past his lips. Someone knelt down in front of him and gentle hands gripped his shoulders.

“It’s me Shane, it’s Ryan. Can you see me?”

Blinking rapidly caused Ryan’s face to swim into focus, and Shane’s eyes gave him one more sight of Ryan with a bloodied throat before the man himself, alive and well, appeared. Shane threw himself forward to cling to him, entire form shaking as he began to sob.

“I’m sorry.” Ryan was saying, most likely to the stewardess and the captain and the other passengers that Shane had freaked out. “He...he has bad dreams when he flies. Usually his sleeping pills work!”

“Sir, if he causes any more disruption we will have to have him arrested.” One of the stewardesses said and Shane was sure Ryan pulled a face.

“He’ll be fine I promise. I’m sorry.”

With gentle guidance, Ryan pulled Shane back into their seats and pushed him into the window seat. Shane refused to let go as he sobbed silently into Ryan’s shoulder and Ryan didn’t let him go, not until Shane had calmed down enough to pull back himself.

“Are you okay?” Ryan whispered, “What happened?”

“A bad dream.” Shane breathed, “I..I-.”

“You can’t talk about it.” Ryan supplied for him, and though the words sounded odd coming from his lips, there was no malice about them. “I get it. Just...try and stay awake.”

Shane nodded his agreement. He didn’t feel like he could ever sleep again following that dream. There was no part of him that wanted to see Ryan in that state again. The rest of the plane journey was tense, the other passengers shooting them odd or annoyed looks, but Ryan ignored them. For the most part Shane did too, but it picked at his already frazzled nerves that these strangers were judging them. Idly, Ryan reached up and pulled Shane’s head back onto his shoulder before pushing an earbud at him. Together they watched the footage they had gathered from the house, and though Shane stayed awake the entire time, he was relaxed when it came to landing and Ryan had to put his laptop away.

They were held back on the plane while the pilot spoke to them, and Shane apologised sheepishly for disrupting the flight. Luckily the pilot was a level headed man, and a fan of Unsolved, so he merely clapped Shane on the shoulder and told him to get stronger pills.

“I can’t imagine it would have gone down well with Buzzfeed if you’d have gotten arrested.” Ryan said as they collected their luggage and traipsed through the airport to get several Ubers to take them home.

Shane grimaced at the thought. “Yeah. I’m sorry I scared you.”

“It’s okay.” Ryan murmured, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. “But we have to talk. There’s…well…even if it isn’t about this-.” He gestured to Shane’s chest, “At least about where we go from here.”

Nodding, Shane tentatively reached out and curled his fingers around Ryan’s, relieved when the man didn’t pull away. They held hands for the entire Uber ride until they pulled up at Shane’s apartment. He made to get out and Ryan tugged him back for a moment, pressing a small kiss to Shane’s cheek.

“I’ll call you.” He murmured, and Shane flushed and smiled before he clambered from the car and dragged his suitcase upstairs to collapse onto his couch.

Soulmates aside, Shane had a lot to process. The demon had found him, had always known where he was and had just allowed Shane to think that he was free. And now someone was paying attention to his scars, he was back with a vengeance. Whatever happened, he couldn’t let Ryan get involved, or hurt. 

Shane was sleeping when Ryan called him and the sound of his phone ringing shocked him from sleep so hard he rolled off the couch and onto the floor. Grasping for the device, Shane pulled it to his ear and whispered a greeting.

“ _Hey Shane, I was wondering if you wanted to come over? Have some popcorn, watch a movie.”_ Ryan’s voice was casual but he was very clearly asking Shane to come over and talk without mentioning it and Shane was both glad for that and a little apprehensive. They needed to do this, needed to decide where their relationship was going to go and how they felt for each other. Shane knew that, but it was a difficult situation marred by so many different circumstances that it couldn’t go well.

“Sure.” Shane agreed, “I’ll um…I just woke up so give me an hour.”

He could almost sense Ryan’s smile down the phone as he said, “ _Cool. See you soon.”_

 

Picking himself up off the floor, Shane stretched and cracked his back before plodding through his apartment to the bathroom. As he passed one of the bedrooms his eyes was caught by the door being slightly ajar with a low light flickering in there. Against his better judgement, Shane pushed the door open for a better view and his stomach dropped as shadowy arms reached out and yanked him into the room, slamming the door behind him and muffling his screams.

—

Ryan bit his lip as he once again messed with his hair in the mirror. Why was he so fussed about Shane coming over? Nothing had changed between them, he was the same person and Shane was...well…he was someone. His nerves weren’t even for the story that Shane would hopefully tell him but for the decision about their relationship. If he was truthful, Ryan had been drawn to Shane for a while, had had feelings for him, maybe romantic, maybe sexual, it was hard to pinpoint, but now he knew why. And if Shane felt the same…where would this go? Ryan could only speculate and it made his stomach flutter when he did.

Brushing his hair into its normal style, Ryan bent down and splashed cold water on his face. The night was perfectly set up, their favourite popcorn, favourite beers, a line up of their favourite movies already on Netflix, Ryan needed to stop panicking. It would be fine.

Straightening up, Ryan caught the reflection of something in the mirror that made his heart stop.

Shane.

Shane with amber eyes and sharp teeth and claws, naked with his sigil on show, flecked with blood. His hands were covered in blood as was his mouth, as if he had been clawing and chewing people apart, and the look on his face...it was terrifying.

Ryan screamed and turned to face the bathroom behind him only to find it empty. Heart hammering in his chest he turned back to the mirror and found the image of Shane directly behind him. One hand shot out and grabbed Ryan by the neck, and he was pulled close, close enough for Shane to attempt to press their lips together. Ryan flailed for the bottle of holy water on his sink and threw it over the figure of Shane, only for it to splash the mirror.

Alone in the bathroom, Ryan jumped when he heard a knock on the door. That was Shane...and yet he had just been here.

What was going on?

Steeling himself as much as he could, Ryan crossed his apartment to the door, face set as he decided he was going to get answers, no matter how much Shane didn’t want to give them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Check out my Tumblr for visuals on Shane's scars.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--

 

 

Clutching his pistol of holy water, Ryan opened the door and tried to look as normal as possible, but the expression on his face told Shane that something was wrong. It was in the way Ryan didn’t step back to let Shane in, the way his eyes flickered from Shane’s eyes to his mouth to his hands, and the way Ryan had one hand behind his back, holding something that Shane assumed was the pistol of holy water.

“Ryan, you okay?” He asked, “Are you gonna let me in?”

“I don’t know.” Ryan whispered, a pinched look on his face that told Shane he was feeling high fear. When Shane shifted from one foot to the other, Ryan matched his movements, as if desperate to keep Shane out of his apartment. If Shane hadn’t been sure before, he was now that something had happened.  
“Can you answer me a question before I do?” Ryan added, bringing the pistol of holy water out behind his back and Shane froze. “If I shot you with this, would you die?”

Automatically Shane’s hands came up in a peaceful gesture, and he was about to laugh nervously until it became clear Ryan wasn’t joking.

“Wha-Ryan this is nuts! Put that down.” He insisted.

“No,” Ryan’s voice was shaking, as were his hands, but he kept the gun up and pointed directly at Shane’s face, “Answer my question.”

Shane bit his lip and took a step back, but as soon as Ryan’s finger went to the trigger he blurted out, “Fine! O-Okay! No it wouldn’t kill me but it would hurt a lot. Ry…please put the gun down and talk to me.”

Narrowing his eyes, Ryan scrutinised Shane again before he lowered the water pistol and stepped back, giving Shane an opening to enter the apartment, although Shane wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to now. Something had happened, and if it had anything to do with…him…Shane was not going to be happy.

“Please tell me what happened.” Shane insisted. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know.” Ryan admitted quietly, “Nothing? Something? I know before all of this you would have blown it off as something stupid, but I don’t think you can anymore. Based on what I just saw, I’d say I’m as fine as I can be despite the fact that you were literally just in my bathroom with amber eyes!” Ryan was drawing air quotes as he spoke ‘I’m fine’ but Shane barely even noticed his movements, or recognised the sarcastic tone in his voice.

No, his stomach had dropped through the floor and his chest seized up with fear. “Fuck.” He cursed, “Are you…you sure?”

“Oh, you want video evidence now?” Ryan snapped, “That’s never been good enough for you before!”

Shane stayed silent, letting Ryan getting his anger and frustration out as the man began to pace back and forth, running a hand through his hair. It was a lot to take in. His soulmate harboured a demon – maybe, Ryan wasn’t sure yet – and everything Ryan knew about Shane was completely wrong. How could he believe anything Shane said tonight?

“I’m sorry,” Ryan breathed after a moment, “I’m really sorry. It was just…I just…”

“I know.” Shane cut in quietly, keeping his hands by his sides despite wanting to comfort Ryan as he finally stopped pacing and faced Shane again, eyes wild as they were when he was afraid. “He…promised he wouldn’t come near you. I’m sorry too Ryan. This is all my fault.”

Ryan looked up hard and grabbed the front of Shane’s shirt, startling the man badly but he couldn’t pull from Ryan’s grasp. “Who promised you that?!” Ryan demanded, “Who?! Tell me!”

“The demon that did this to me!” Shane cried, gripping Ryan’s hand and trying to pull him off, but only resulting in pulling down his shirt and revealing some of the scars carved into his chest. “He promised not to touch you, not to do anything to you. I’m sorry Ryan.”

Ryan felt a tremor run through his body, and he released Shane and allowed the man to step backwards and readjust himself. There had been a demon in his house, a demon that Shane knew intimately enough to demand that he leave Ryan alone…that was just the cherry on top of the insanity that had been revealed in the past forty-eight hours.

“Look Ry, I know we were getting together to discuss the whole soulmate thing, but I can…tell you about this too. Well, I can tell you most of it.” Shane said softer this time, “As much as I can, but not the demon’s name. I suppose I won’t need to tell you why.”

“No,” Ryan confirmed, “Names have power, especially with demons. Don’t really understand anything else.”

“Thanks Ryan.”

Shrugging as casual as he could, Ryan slid the holy water pistol into his jeans and sighed.

“I don’t think his name will summon him immediately,” Shane continued, “But I don’t want to risk it. And before you ask, I can’t tell you everything.”

“Why not?” Ryan frowned.

“I don’t remember it all.” Shane admitted, “There were a lot of times when Am-…when the demon took control completely and I don’t have a memory to coincide with that.”

“I guess that makes sense.”

And it did. Stories of demonic possession did leave accounts of both memory and time loss, and Shane’s admittance left Ryan with no room to argue, but it didn’t sit right with him. Still, so far Shane had been truthful with him for most parts, and why would he lie? Ryan knew there was something else to this now, and if Shane lied…well, it would come back to bite him later on. On top of that, people had secrets, they always did, and Ryan would understand if he wanted to hold certain things back. Shane looked embarrassed, and nervous, fiddling with the bottom of his shirt and Ryan’s heart beat a little harder in his chest at the sight.

Shane was not a threat.

The demonic force inside him was, and when Ryan heard the true story, he was going to stop this, and free Shane.

It took a lot of confidence for him to step forward and slide his hand into Shane’s before pulling him to the couch so they could sit down. He had already prepared for the conversation, with two bottle of beers and a bowl of popcorn waiting for them and a movie setting soft ambience in the background. This was such clear indication to Shane that Ryan had planned this night entirely, and this was probably not where he was expecting it to have gone. Guilt twisted his gut but he sat down anyway, laying his hands on his lap as Ryan sat next to him, their thighs pressed together comfortably.

Grinning wryly, Shane grabbed one of the beers and took a swig. “I suppose I should tell you my true age first, since that’s really the beginning of the story.”

Ryan pulled an odd face and Shane couldn’t supress a laugh. “Really? Your true age? Of all the things that have happened over the last two days, you want to start with that? I’m pretty sure I know that already.”

“Nope, you know the age I look.” Shane corrected him with a smirk, and Ryan frowned even deeper than before. “My true age is something you don’t know.”

“Alright then Long Legs,” Ryan laughed, shoving at Shane’s shoulder, “Tell me your bloody age.”

“Hmm, well, if I tell you I was born in eighteen fifty-eight does that help? Can you do the math?”

“What?!” Ryan’s jaw dropped, doing the mental math quickly to calculate Shane’s true age and he couldn’t fathom any words. He had been expecting a story about Shane having been recently possessed by a demon, and had been living under his thumb, not that Shane had been possessed for a long time. And was super old.

Super fucking old.

“You’re one hundred and sixty years old? What the hell Shane? How is that even possible?!”

“I’m old.” Shane shrugged with a laugh, “Very old.”

“No fucking shit!” Ryan exclaimed, eyes wide, “So…care to explain why you look so young?”

“It’ll all come out in the story.” Shane replied, “So, just wait and see.”

Ryan wanted to request for more information, but he didn’t want himself to be distracted by this one aspect of the story, so he stayed his tongue and let Shane begin. It was something he needed to hear, and now he knew, he had feeling Shane needed to air it. When this was out in the open, they would be closer, at the stage both of them wanted to be at but were too scared to get there. Shane was looking nervous again, and despite his own nervousness, Ryan reached out his hand and Shane took it.

“Thanks.”

“It’s okay to take your time to tell me Shane,” Ryan told him.

“I doubt we have a lot of time,” Shane muttered, and Ryan felt his face settle into a frown again as foreboding settled over him, but he let Shane continue. “I’ve already started with my age, so let’s go back to my childhood. When I was a child, my brother accidently hurt me while we were farming and-.”

“You lived on a farm?” Ryan wheezed, “Did you have a cornfield?”

Rolling his eyes, Shane couldn’t stop himself from giving a wheezing laugh as well, shaking his head, “Yeah we had a cornfield. Believe it or not, that comes into it later.”

“Oh my god,” Ryan wheezed harder, “I love it. Sorry, sorry, carry on.”

Grinning, Shane nodded. “Okay yeah so, my brother hit me with a hoe while we were gardening, and it left me with a scar.” Pulling up his shirt sleeve, Shane gestured to a small but deep scar on his arm, one Ryan hadn’t even noticed before, his focus entirely on Shane’s chest and back. Reaching out, Ryan slowly touched the scar and Shane shivered but he didn’t pull his arm back, just carried on speaking.  
“That was the day that I learnt scars were important. And weird. I learnt that people didn’t understand them or see them very often. No one in my family could see it when it healed but I could, and I knew it was there. Speaking with my mother, she would tell me stories about how scars were personal, just for the existence of the bearer. Everyone had scars, but no one could see them.”

“Wait so…people didn’t know what scars meant back then?” Ryan queried, “Did you…when did people figure it out?”

“Honestly I don’t remember,” Shane shrugged, “I suppose some people probably knew, intuitively knew, but the majority of people thought the same way my family did. I didn’t like it, it was almost as if people were just hiding who they really were, but I couldn’t do anything about it. Well…I did some…I-…there was some bad shit. I wasn’t a nice person.”

“You can tell me.”

“I hurt people.” Shane admitted quickly, “I gave them wounds, I wanted to know if I could see their scars if I did it myself. I was just a bad person.”

Leaning forward, Ryan wiped a small tear from the edge of Shane’s cheek and entwined their fingers together. It was a small gesture, but enough to give Shane the strength to carry on.

“As usually happens, things don’t ever stay good. I was fourteen years old when it came crashing down. The neighbour’s wife was over talking to my mother and I was asking about scars and what her opinions were, only for the neighbour to say that my father had two scars, one on his back from a farming accident and on his hand where he was missing a finger. It split my family apart because no one understood what that meant, I...I don’t really remember the argument properly but it wasn’t...it wasn’t fun. There was an ultimatum. I had to live with my mum, or my dad, despite my age and I just…umm...I did something bad.”

“Is this when you spoke to the demon?” Ryan guessed and Shane nodded.

“I spoke to the darkness. I asked to be free, to be able to breath and not be controlled by this ridiculous notion that soulmates were...everything. I mean, we didn’t call them soulmates at the time, but it was...it...they didn’t have name but it was stupid. I think the thing that drew Am-...the demon to me was the fact I said I wanted to punish people who broke apart love. I was angry, I didn’t really mean it, but he believed me.”

“What happened?” Ryan breathed.

“A demon appeared in front of me.” Shane said, “And I agreed to a deal. He told me that I could be free, and I asked if I could become like him. He laughed, said there were no men like him. But he still...I was turned into a demon. The deal I made was...it was stupid now I think on but you know, hindsight is twenty-twenty and all that. I asked to become a demon, and he set the time limit of my twenty-eighth birthday.” Shane paused and ran a hand through his hair, drawing Ryan’s attention to the terrible scars on his skull, preventing the hair from growing in circular patches where something demonic had been.  
“At the time it seemed like a long time. It was fourteen years, and I was only fourteen years old and my life at the time felt...it felt long. So I agreed and I made that deal. And I became a demon.”

Ryan’s hand trembled around Shane’s, but it spoke volumes that he didn’t pull away and Shane’s heart rate increased slightly at the feeling. This was difficult for Ryan to hear, especially since he spoke it so casually, but the man was still there and still willing to listen, at least for now. Shane hadn’t gotten to the worst bit yet.

“Are you still a demon?” Ryan asked quietly, dark eyes boring into Shane’s as if he could see the answer in their depths.

Shane stared back.

“No.”

He could almost hear the sigh of relief from Ryan, and it made Shane chuckle. “I’m not much better than a demon though. I’m getting to how I became what I am now, just...bear with me okay?”

“Okay.”

Reaching over to the table where Ryan had two beers waiting, Shane picked up the other one and passed it to Ryan. They kept one of their hands connected on Shane’s knee as the others were used to swig the beer from the bottle, and Shane had to remind himself not to drink the entire thing in one go. Alcohol didn’t affect him anymore, but it would be read as a sign of nervousness, of not wanting to continue, and he didn’t want Ryan to argue this with him. It needed to come out now, or their precariously changed relationship would crumble.

“I killed one person when I was a demon.” Shane stated matter of factly and Ryan startled at the words. “It was the neighbour’s wife, when I first turned. I lost myself to a demon rage and I blamed her for my family breaking up, so I killed her. After that I...just...I tormented people. People in love, people searching for soulmates or people that could see their scars and it was ridiculous and I hated it and as soulmates became a bigger thing after...revelations at the time, I tricked and teased people. And then I turned twenty-eight and the demon came back for me, to fulfil the deal. And I said no.”

“What?!” Ryan exclaimed, eyes going wide and Shane looked sheepish despite the fact the act had already happened, “Holy shit Shane why...what...why would you do that?!”

“I was having fun as a demon!” Shane snapped, “Sorry...I...I don’t wanna snap at you but...this part is a little hard to talk about.”

“I understand.” Ryan said, but it was clear to Shane he had other things to say about the denial of the deal.

Irregardless, Shane ploughed on, “I denied the fulfilment of the deal, I wanted to stay as a demon. It was a fun existence and I could help my family when they went through hard times and it just...the deal sucked. I’d kinda learnt that by then, but the demon was not happy. So...he punished me.”

Shifting, Shane lifted his shirt over his head so his scars were on show, revealing to Ryan the mass of scars and marks that littered both his front and back.

“First, he took my horns, tail and wings. That’s what these scars are for.” Shane pointed to them, the jagged circles on his head and lower back, and the dull lines on his shoulder blades, “He took the symbols of being a demon from me, and the powers as well, and left behind scars to show what I once was, to anyone that could see them. And then, he did this to me.”

“How...how did he do this?” Ryan asked, fingers ghosting over Shane’s chest and Shane shivered despite Ryan not actually touching him. “These scars are...they’re um...I don’t know how to...they...it’s like they were pushed from the inside out.”

“That’s because they were.” Shane replied simply and Ryan’s jaw dropped. “There’s a line down my chest to my waist, and a line down my spine as well, where the demon can peel my skin open. And he adds more scars that way, from the inside, pushing them so deeply into the tissue that they show on the outside.”

“Holy...I...Jesus Christ, Shane that’s crazy!” Ryan blurted out, “How...are you dead?”

“Do I look dead?” Shane laughed mirthlessly, “He keeps me alive, I can’t die. It’s...complicated when incidents happen, but no matter the wound, it won’t kill me. I just keep plodding along.”

“Can I...I mean, do you know what they mean?” Ryan inquired, eyes switching between the different symbols as if trying to decipher them himself and Shane watched him for a moment, torn between telling Ryan the truth and lying to him. It was an easy decision in the end, he had come this far after all.

“I can give you a small lowdown.” He agreed, “The big symbol on my chest is the demon’s sigil. It’s how I’m connected to him, what symbolises that I belong to him. The two symbols here-,” Shane touched his hands to the circular eyes on his shoulders. “-Are both the Evil Eye.”

Ryan sucked in another breath and Shane coughed down a laugh. He had a feeling Ryan was going to do that after each one.

“The Evil Eye is believed to bring misfortune and injury to the one bearing it. In doubles...I don’t know if it doubles the effect or not but, it’s just part of the curse.” Shane explained softly.

“It’s...can I touch them?” Ryan asked.

“No.” Shane shook his head, “Best not too right now. I don’t want to summon the demon. Just...let me explain what they are first and then...maybe...maybe you can.”

Nodding, Ryan bit his lip and kept his hands on Shane’s knees, gripping rather tightly as he tried to keep control on his racing emotions and Shane really couldn’t blame him for being scared. This was a lot to take in after all.

“The symbol on my stomach is two-fold.” Shane continued, “A pentagram, upside down, pointing towards earthly gratification, which is mostly believed to be the Satanic version. It’s placed inside another sigil, a common used in summoning an unholy power...which I guess a demon is.”

He stood to turn and run through the scars on his back, but Ryan’s hands stopped him. “What are the ticks for?”

Glancing down, Shane hands trembled as he pressed them over the counters over his ribs and side, running around his back as well, and bit his tongue. “These are...it’s complicated. I...let me explain the rest of what he did to me first, and I’ll move on to these.”

Ryan didn’t seem happy to let them lie, almost as if he knew Shane was hiding something, and it twisted Shane’s stomach uncomfortably to have to continue lying to him, but he had to get through this somehow. Explaining those marks was going to make Ryan hate him, and Shane would rather had Ryan love him for the time being before he revealed the darkest secret of the demon.

As soon as he turned round, Ryan had to hide his laughter behind his hands.

“Fucking...is that a fucking Illuminati symbol?!”

“It’s not just the Illuminati.” Shane grumbled, “It’s the All Seeing Eye, a representation of God watching over humanity.”

“It’s the fucking Illuminati Symbol!” Ryan cried, so close to spilling into laughter, “Illuminati confirmed oh my god.”

“Ryan!” Shane’s voice rose louder than normal, a snap to it as Ryan’s amusement at his scars boiled into annoyance and he felt the man tense behind him. “I...it’s not a symbol of the Illuminati on me.”

“Okay.” Ryan whispered, “Sorry.”

Sighing, Shane turned and reached for Ryan’s hands, noting the man didn’t pull away, but he didn’t look confident in that second either. “I’m sorry.” Shane murmured, “I didn’t mean to...it’s just that these...marks on me are...I...I earned them for my own ignorance and selfishness but I don’t...they’re-.”

“I know.” Ryan cut in, noticing how hard Shane seemed to be finding it to get the right words, “I’m sorry.”

Leaning in, Shane paused just before Ryan’s forehead, about to press a kiss there but something stopped him. He needed to finish this story first, he needed Ryan to know everything about him before they could even begin to discuss their future. Shane wasn’t looking forward to that conversation.

“The big circle in the middle if a summoning circle, used in connection with the Sigil on my front.” Shane stated, turning again out of Ryan’s grip, ignoring the disappointment on Ryan’s face that he hadn’t kissed him. “It contains ancient symbols for water, fire, earth and air, along with the curse that holds me to this...existence. Another Pentagram and then…a double Ouroboros.”

“Come again?”

“A double Ouroboros.” Shane repeated, fingers tapping at the symbol of two snakes eating each other. “In alchemy it’s a symbol of volatility, but it can also symbolise eternity and the soul of the world.”

“Do all of these...connect to the demon in some way?” Ryan asked.

“Yeah.”

“What about the tick marks?”

Shane shifted uncomfortably. “The tick marks are from...some of them I don’t know but...these five-.” Shane ticked off five marks just under his pectoral, the oldest of them all from what Ryan could tell. “-These five are from a string of murders.”

“M-murders?” Ryan choked, “What murders?”

“Well...they spanned August to November in nineteen eighty-eight. Five murders in total. Unsolved.”

That was all Shane had to say to have Ryan gasping and jerking back instinctively, eyes wide as he stared at Shane in disbelief. Those dates might have seemed insignificant to anyone without the proper knowledge, but to Ryan, and the insane amount of research he had done, those dates meant a lot.

“You...you’re...fucking...you’re Jack the Ripper?” Ryan was breathless as he spoke, and Shane couldn’t blame him. It was a big reveal and the answer to one of the bigger unsolved mysteries in the world. The first highly publicised serial killer, the one that still inspired investigators and books today, and now Ryan had the answer.

An answer that he did not want.

“The demon...he could...well he can control me. I belong to him.” Shane whispered, “So he used me to commit murders for him, for a lot of reasons. And the first murders he had me commit were the Jack the Ripper murders.”

“Fuck.” Ryan breathed, “Holy shit. I...you’re...this is...Shane what the fuck?!”

Shane didn’t respond, just sat and watched as Ryan ran his hands through his hair and tried to process what Shane had just told him.

“Are all those tick marks from murders?” Ryan asked quietly, nervously, fingers hovering forward to try and touch them only to jerk back when Shane coughed nervously and shifted back out of Ryan’s touch. “Every single one of these?”

Nodding, Shane bit his lip and gripped the fabric of his chinos tightly as he spoke and said, “I...I don’t remember all of it. When he takes control of me, my memory disappears but...I wake up to the aftermath.”

Ryan stood from the couch and began to pace back and forth in front of the couch, and Shane could almost hear the wheels turning in his mind as he tried to come to a logical conclusion for all of this. Guilt began to flood into Shane’s mind and he had to resist standing and approaching Ryan to comfort him. Right now, Ryan needed space right now, that much was clear.

“How can you have lived so long and never met a soulmate?” Ryan asked suddenly, pausing in his pacing and staring at Shane, “You’ve been alive for one hundred and sixty years and I’m your soulmate?! How does that even work?”

“I don’t know.” Shane admitted, “I...didn’t really believe in soulmates, or think it was something that could happen to me Ryan.”

Ryan cursed again and continued to pace, his hands curling and uncurling at his sides. This was difficult for him to hear, and yet there was a cruel irony. His interest in the paranormal, in unsolved crimes, combined into one person in Shane, sitting on his couch with his scars bared for Ryan to see. The person Ryan had always wanted to find was right there in front of him, his soulmate, one hundred and sixty years old in a twenty eight year olds body, and carrying the evidence of hundreds of murders across his skin.

It was almost too much to take.

“Okay...say I believe.” Ryan said slowly, “That you’re Jack the Ripper and probably every other unsolved serial killer...why? What does the demon get from doing that?”

Shane’s eyes flashed for a moment, a lighter shade of brown - almost amber - in their core before settling down again but Ryan didn’t notice. He was too busy pacing and trying not to lose his mind.

“I don’t know the answer to that Ryan,” Shane said, “I don’t know. Joy? Victory? Revenge? He never let me into all his secrets.”

“All of them.” Ryan whispered, “So you know some of them.”

Shane gave a wry smile, “When you belong to one being for over a century, you learn a few things about them.”

“This is insane.” Ryan muttered, and he looked so pale Shane was worried for a moment he might faint. “You fucking-we-Jesus, Shane, we walked around London looking at the places Jack the Ripper killed people and all this time you-were you thinking ‘Haha that was me?!’”

“It wasn’t that joyous.” Shane stated, “I’m not proud of the blood on my hands Ryan it-god it’s-it makes me sick! Every new piece of news about the Ripper or anything else I did just makes my stomach turn!”

Ryan chewed his lip, lost in thought, before Shane noticed something click in his mind.

“Anything else.” Ryan repeated.

“What?”

“Anything else!” Ryan said again, “You said that you didn’t remember anything else. That your memories ended! How can you say that in one breath and in another tell me news of these crimes makes you feel sick?!”

Shane’s face dropped and he stared at Ryan blankly for a moment before a cruel smile began to twist his lips.

“You really are too clever.”

Ryan paled at the tone.

“I should have catered what I told you but I’ve been acting like this goofball for so long I thought it would be easy. How well you know each other though, it’s disgusting.” Shane continued, standing from the couch and cracking his neck. He seemed taller in presence, a shadow looming over Ryan as he tried to process what the hell was happening. With a simple blink, Shane’s eyes turned bright amber, black sclera only amplifying the colour and Ryan cried out and stumbled backwards.

“Who-you’re the-the demon?!”

“Ding ding ding, you win a prize!” Shane cackled, stepping around the couch to close the space between him and Ryan. “Yes, dear Madej has been taking a nap for this conversation. I wanted to meet the one who thought he could take his soul from me for myself. And I must say, Ryan Bergara, I’m not entirely impressed.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> \--

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> \--Please be aware of the new tags--

\--

 

Ryan couldn’t explain how he managed to move for his bottle of holy water over the pistol as quickly as he did with a demon watching him, but he did, and soon found himself in the kitchen alone, as the demon infecting Shane’s body stayed where he was. Slowly, Ryan edged forward to the doorway between the kitchen and the living room to see Shane standing stock still with an amused expression, eyes flicking to the bottle of holy water and back up to Ryan’s face. 

“You know if you throw that on me, you’re only going to hurt Madej,” ‘Shane’ leered, “I’m only visiting here.” 

Undeterred, Ryan unscrewed the top of the bottle and held it in front of him. It seemed to work as a deterrent, for every step he took forward the demon took one back. With slightly renewed confidence, Ryan glared at the demon and demanded, “What do you want?”, despite it breaking the code he lived by of never engaging with demons. Considering this was a demon wearing his best friends face, the circumstances were definitely different.

“So, you claim to be soulmates with my Madej.” The demon hummed, folding his arms, “All these years no one has ever connected with him, with my Madej, and now, you have the audacity to claim him.”

“Wha-? No! There’s no claim happening!” Ryan protested, “I love him.” 

The way Shane’s face contorted was something Ryan had never seen before, but it showed the disgust the demon felt perfectly. “Love,” It laughed, “How fun and how gross. Madej isn’t capable of love, not anymore. Not thanks to me.”

Something in Ryan’s chest tightened badly at those words, but he shook his head and refused to believe that was the truth. Shane had shown him so much evidence that he was capable of love, and nothing to prove otherwise, and this demon was not going to change that. No. Nothing at all. 

And the demon seemed to sense that. “You don’t believe me,” It smirked, “Let’s see...how can I convince you?”

“You can’t!” Ryan spat, startling the demon and Ryan took his chance. Bringing the holy water up Ryan threw it directly into Shane’s face and the man screamed, bending over and clutching his face. Below Shane’s normal tones Ryan could hear the demon roaring, and the power that had been slowly surrounding Shane’s body sucked from the room as the demon disappeared, and Shane fell to his knees. 

Without any awareness Ryan dragged Shane kicking and screaming through the apartment to his shower, shoving the man under a freezing cold flow of water. Shane’s hands were still clasped over his face, his entire body trembling as the normal water washed over him and cleansed him, the holy water running down the drain instead of burning his skin. At some point his fingers spread enough for Ryan to see his eyes, back to their normal dark brown colour and shining in pain. It hurt so badly for Ryan to see but his first instinct had been to get rid of the demon, and then to help cleanse Shane afterward. Crawling into the shower, Ryan peeled Shane’s hands back and tilted his head up to the water. 

He ignored the concerned call of his neighbours in favour of being there to help Shane. 

After ten minutes Shane’s screams died down, and his head fell forward onto Ryan’s shoulder, the man reaching up to draw soothing circles into his shoulder blades until Shane was completely relaxed, and completely silent. 

“I...I’m sorry. A-are you okay?” Ryan asked, his voice shaking. It was a stupid question, but Ryan needed to know he hadn’t done any lasting damage to not only his best friend but his soulmate. 

It seemed like it took great effort for Shane to pull back out of Ryan’s grip, and lean against the shower wall. His skin was flushed red from the burn of the holy water but there didn’t seem to be any other damage at all. Still, Ryan felt guilt begin to eat at his gut as Shane slowly examined his hands. 

“I’m...okay.” He rasped, voice hoarse from all the screaming. 

Before Ryan could say anything else, a loud knock came at the door, and when Ryan heard, “Open up, this is the police!” he balked and stood, Shane stumbling up beside him and grabbing for a hat to hide the scar marks on his head. When he was sure Shane was prepared, Ryan crossed to the door and opened it. 

“How can I help?”

“We received several calls from concerned neighbours about a man screaming inside of this apartment.” The officer at the door said, looking over Ryan’s sodden clothes and hair with intrigue and suspicion. 

Ryan didn’t get a chance to respond, as Shane appeared by his side with an easy and light smile. 

“It’s nothing to worry about officer.” He said, and Ryan felt a prickle in the back of his neck at the words, like it wasn’t just Shane speaking. “I spilt hot coffee all over my hands and legs. Pretty sure that would have anyone screaming.”

For a long second the officer stared at them in disbelief before nodding and laughing themselves. “Quite right. Make sure you get those burns checked out if they get bad.”

“Will do.” Shane grinned, waving the Officer away as they went to tell the neighbours all was fine. Shane shut the door and leant his head against it. 

“What the fuck was that?” Ryan demanded. 

“Being possessed by an ex God of Love allows you certain charms.” Shane muttered, “I don’t use them all that often though.”

“Have you...you ever used them on me?” Ryan asked as casually as he could. 

“No.” Shane didn’t pause in his response, looking sternly into Ryan’s eyes. “Invoking any powers given to me by Ama-...the demon just strengthens his control in finding me. And I...I was doing a pretty good job at hiding.”

Ryan frowned a little before he reached out and took Shane’s hand carefully, avoiding touching any of the red raw areas and Shane smiled appreciatively. 

“I’m really sorry that I hurt you.” Ryan whispered, “I...just didn’t know what else to do.” “I know.” Shane said with equal softness, “I know. I...appreciate it. And I’m sorry that you...had to see him.” 

“It’s okay.” Ryan murmured, “I...I have to ask though, the things that the demon told me...are they true?”

Shane shifted, gesturing for Ryan to go back to the couch but Ryan was feeling pent up energy again, and he didn’t move to sit down, even as Shane did. He was tired, exhausted, and needed to lie down, or at least rest, and Ryan understood. 

“Wait!” He exclaimed, “Wait a second! You just...an ex God of Love? What is that?! You said it was a demon!”

“It...he is a demon.” Shane sighed, “But he was once a God of Love. I...he’s a complicated figure. Do we...do we have to talk about this anymore? I...I really want to sleep.”

Nodding, Ryan stepped a little closer to the couch and laid a hand on Shane’s shoulder, massaging gently with his thumb and Shane leaned into the touch. “I can make up the bed for you?”

“The couch will do fine,” Shane murmured, “Mmmm, that feels nice.” 

His voice was becoming breathy as Ryan continued to massage him, and he slowly flopped further down onto the couch and Ryan went with him, slowly climbing over the back of the couch until he was straddling Shane’s hips. With both his hands, Ryan began to massage Shane’s shoulders and spine, working through all the tension the big guy seemed to be carrying. And rightly so, considering he had recently just been sprayed with holy water and dumped unceremoniously into a cold shower. 

“Shane...you called this demon an ex God.” Ryan repeated quietly, not exactly wanting to broach this subject again now that Shane was relaxing and needing sleep, but he needed more answers and he couldn’t exactly decide if the things that he had been told while the demon was possessing Shane were true. And his curiosity just couldn’t be quenched. 

And as soon as he spoke the words, Shane tensed again, although he couldn’t stay tense as Ryan continued to massage him, making Shane boneless again. “I...didn’t mean to say that.” 

“I figured, but you did. And...I just want to know more. I think I deserve that at least.” 

Without warning Shane rolled over underneath him, a hidden strength in the otherwise beanpole like man giving him the ability to do so even with Ryan’s weight pinning him down. Ryan may have given a surprised squawking sound at the sudden movement, and it made Shane’s tired expression crinkle into laughter. That was good, Ryan liked that look on him.

“You do deserve it.” Shane murmured, “You do. But I...Ryan I...need to sleep. Or rest. Or just...close my eyes for a few...a few...seconds.”

Ryan couldn’t stop a fond smile as Shane began to drift even while he was speaking, and he went to climb off when Shane’s arms came up and wrapped around his waist, pulling him down until Ryan was lay flush against Shane’s chest, head tucked under the man’s chin. It was a slightly awkward position, and a little bit uncomfortable, but it felt right at the same time and Ryan couldn’t resist nuzzling just a little bit closer.

“I’m glad,” Shane whispered, eyes already closed and body more or less completely relaxed, “That if anyone was going to be my soulmate, it was you.” 

Flushing, Ryan smacked at Shane’s arm as best he could but he couldn’t stop the smile stretching over his features. “Same here big guy. Now get some rest.” 

Shane mumbled something else that Ryan couldn’t quite make out before he fell asleep, arms curled protectively around Ryan’s waist and chest rising and falling gently. Ryan felt he could potentially fall asleep here and now as well, but...the pervading feeling of knowing that Shane could be possessed by this demon kept him awake and watchful. That and all the new questions that had popped into his head since Shane had come back to himself. 

It was going to be a long night. 

\--

Ryan called in sick for the both of them the next day. He only needed to take one look at Shane’s groggy appearance, eyes slightly unfocused and face pinched with pain - a headache, he said - and made the decision to keep Shane from going into Buzzfeed. Fielding questions all day about why he looked like he’d been thrown down some stairs was not going to help the already pained position that Shane was in, and Ryan also wanted to keep an eye on him. Feasibly, he could have gone in, but he wanted to be there for Shane. 

And, he wanted answers. 

But first, he sorted out breakfast for both of them, although Shane didn’t seem to have much of an appetite and poked at the food more than eating it, until Ryan pushed his plate aside and leant on his hands.

“Shane-.”

“Yeah, I know, you want answers.” Shane sighed, “Where to begin?”

“Well…” Ryan thought back on all the demon had told him while possessing Shane and his mind finally fell on one specific thing that he really should have been more concerned about. “YOU’RE JACK THE RIPPER?!”

Shane flinched at Ryan’s sudden increase in volume and pinched the bridge of his nose as he took a deep breath. Ryan apologised, but Shane waved it away.

“I’m not surprised he told you about that.” He muttered, “Yes. Part of my role is to...collect the souls of those that have forsaken love in some way. I told you he’s an Ex God of Love, and that’s true, but there’s more to it than that. He’s...the Ex God of Romantic Love, bored with only being able to control a small section of love, and he fell to the darkness of being able to punish people for failing to worship him properly, or breaking those in love. As a demon he collects those that have failed, continue to fail, or fall prey to the false idea of love.” 

“The...false idea of love?” Ryan asked softly.

“He hates Soulmates.” Shane clarified, “It was what made his job so...I don’t know how to the describe it but it made his job difficult. People didn’t want to be with their Soulmates, or cursed him because they had a Soulmate in someone they didn’t like. And it turned into hatred. So now as a demon, he uses his control over me to get me to collect the souls of those who have forsaken love.”

“So...this is the true story of the Ripper?” Ryan whispered, “Girls who forsook love?”

“It was only one of them, but the others were privy to the knowledge so they had to go too.” Shane said flatly, “And I really don’t...it’s not nice to talk about.” 

“I know.” Ryan held his hand out across the table again without flinching, although there was a part of his head that told him this wasn’t Shane again, that it was the demon still pretending. Shane gave a small smile and took Ryan’s hand, slowly stroking his thumb over Ryan’s knuckles. “Does he still...does he still make you do that?”

Shane nodded, “Sometimes. He...he’s promised to leave you alone though, you’re not on the list.”

Ryan blinked in surprise and wasn’t sure if he should feel comforted by that knowledge or afraid that this demon was even acknowledging his presence so much to consider that. Reading his concern, and the bubbling fear underneath, Shane went to pull his hand back but Ryan refused to let go, only holding him tighter. 

“There’s something else we need to talk about too.” He said, and Shane frowned. “Well...we’re Soulmates.”

“We are.” 

“And...we were going to talk about what to do with that fact.”

“We were.”

“Shane stop. Do you even want to talk about that anymore?”

Looking at their clasped hands, Shane took a breath before he spoke, “I don’t know Ryan. Do you even want to talk about it? There have been a lot of revelations in the last twelve hours.” 

“I knew you were something different, something not entirely human, the first time I saw those scars,” Ryan said firmly, “I wasn’t afraid of you then and I’m not afraid of you now. Shane, I know you, I’ve known you for years. Having a demon able to possess you doesn’t change who  _ you  _ are. And I...I couldn’t have asked for a better Soulmate. So...I want to try this out, if you don’t mind?” 

“I would love to,” Shane breathed, “But I’m-.”

“Scared?” Ryan asked, “I know. I’m scared too. But not of you. This is all new to me too, but I want to face it with you.”

Standing from his seat at the table, Ryan moved around to Shane’s side and pulled his best friend’s head up so their eyes met. Slowly, with a steady pressure on Shane’s shoulders to keep him still, Ryan leaned forward and let his lips brush against Shane’s, the gentlest of touches to give Shane the chance to pull back and refuse a deeper kiss. What Ryan wasn’t expecting was for Shane to surge forward and kiss Ryan suddenly, arms sliding around his waist to pull Ryan bodily onto his lap so he could trap him against Shane’s warmth and the table, kissing him hungrily. Shane tasted of stale breath and a little bit of blood, but Ryan didn’t care, clinging desperately to Shane’s shirt as Shane’s tongue dipped between his lips and his hands dug bruises into Ryan’s hips. 

“Shane.” He sighed as they broke apart for air, Shane’s lips trailing kisses down Ryan’s chin to his neck, and teeth nibbling a bite there. “Ah! Shane...fuck!”

Words failed him as Shane deepened the bite, sucking and rolling Ryan’s flesh between his teeth and lips and Ryan tensed and arched, tilting his head to give Shane better access, hands sliding under Shane’s shirt to feel his lithe muscles rippling as he moved against Ryan. This should not have been as hot as it was, pressed against his breakfast table with half eaten food behind him, but Ryan couldn’t think as Shane retrailed back up from his neck and captured his lips again, hands slipping under Ryan’s pyjama shirt and sighing into the kiss as he felt Ryan’s muscular form. Ryan squeaked as one of Shane’s fingers flicked his nipple, the sensitive nub coming to attention almost immediately and Shane huffed a laugh as they kissed, bringing his other hand up to play as well. 

“Fuck,” Ryan hissed, breaking the kiss and letting his head fall forward onto Shane’s shoulder as Shane played with him, circling the sensitive flesh with his fingers until Ryan was trembling and scratching at Shane’s chest, desperate to play as well but unable to gather his thoughts enough to do so. 

With a devious grin, Shane pushed Ryan back as far as he could and dipped his head down, letting his tongue sneak out and lick one of Ryan’s nipples through his shirt. Ryan cried out and clenched his hands around the back of Shane’s neck, effectively pushing him closer to his chest and Shane went with it, letting the nipple into his mouth and teasing it with his teeth. It felt so good Ryan couldn’t even bring himself to feel embarrassed at the fact that Shane was doing this through the fabric of his t-shirt, or the fact that his cock was starting to react and strain against the jeans he hadn’t taken off last night. He could feel Shane shifting beneath him, obviously affected as well by Ryan’s wiggles and moans, the way his hands pulled at Shane’s hand and scratched along his scalp, how his warmth permeated every single inch of Shane’s body with comfort. 

Ryan only managed a coherent thought long enough to demand, “Be-Bedroom!” and suddenly he was in Shane’s arms, the man stronger than he should have been for his wiry frame and his mouth moving from Ryan’s thoroughly abused nipple to the other one. Squeezing his eyes shut, Ryan allowed Shane to maneuver around his house, slamming doors open and shut as he made his way to the bedroom and gently dropped Ryan onto the bed before climbing over him. 

“Are you sure?” Shane asked breathlessly, his lips swollen from nibbling at them accidently as he played with Ryan’s nipples and his face was so deliciously flushed that Ryan hadn’t been more sure of anything in his life. This has been the day for revelations and fear and confronting an actual living demon in the body of his best friend and soulmate and solving an unsolved mystery and just finding out so much about Shane that Ryan’s brain ought to feel like mush and yet it didn’t. All it was telling him was that he needed Shane very much, then and there, tangled together as Ryan yanked Shane down for another kiss. 

“Yes.”

It was automatic and needy between them. 

Shane’s hands slid Ryan’s jeans down, freeing his hard cock to the air and to Shane’s waist, as Ryan struggled in his position to push Shane’s pants down as well. He wanted skin, wanted all of Shane all over him, to cement their position as Soulmates with something so physical that neither of them could take back after this. When their hips met again Ryan keened and threw his head back and Shane made a huffed noise against Ryan’s throat, coaxing Ryan to wrap his legs around Shane’s waist so he could rock them. Ryan reached for the bedside table and drew a small tube of lube out, which Shane took gratefully and slowly poured onto his hand, warming it up before moving between their bodies and stroking it onto Ryan’s cock first. Feeling Shane’s large hands on his equally large cock had Ryan’s brain going haywire and he needed that forever and every single minute of every single day. Shane only stopped to rub himself down too, before moving back to position and rocking them again. The lube provided the perfect slick motion, and soon they were back to kissing, teeth clacking and lips getting bitten as Ryan wrapped his arms around Shane’s shoulders and Shane wrapped his arms around Ryan as well, rocking so gently Ryan felt he was going to go insane.

“Please-.” He begged, “-Shane - ah - please.”

He couldn’t verbalise the words but Shane knew. Instinctively he knew, and he moved his hips faster, moving with deeper thrusts and Ryan felt his body go boneless at the feeling as orgasm built in the pit of his stomach. It felt so right to have Shane above him, to have the man in his arms even as Shane held him too, to kiss him and rock beneath him, meeting his thrusts with one of his own hips, hearing the short breaths and light groans he pulled from Shane’s lips and growing bolder with each one. 

It was surprising when Shane orgasmed first, stiffening above Ryan and grunting into his neck as he splashed his warm fluids over Ryan’s stomach, and Ryan’s breath was stolen from his lungs at the feeling. His heart also grew bolder, and without warning he pushed Shane off and flipped the man over. Still in the after throws of his orgasm Shane moved willingly, pliable and happy, until Ryan had him position on his hands and knees, Ryan’s cock lined up with Shane’s ass. 

God he was so beautiful.

Dribbling a little more lube on his cock, Ryan began to thrust, letting his cock slide between Shane’s ass cheeks and tease his hole but never enter. He wouldn’t, not right now. Shane’s hands curled in the sheets and he was moaning Ryan’s name with each brush of Ryan’s cock head against his twitching hole, and that combination had Ryan orgasming soon after, shooting all over Shane’s back and holding his hips tightly as he did. Shane managed to stay up until Ryan was done, before his shaking arms gave way and Ryan collapsed down on top of him. Absently without thinking, Ryan ran his fingers in the spotted white cum on Shane’s back before slowly tracing it along the scar on Shane’s chest. Shane’s breath caught again as Ryan moved, effectively staking his claim along the sigil that belonged to the demon, and when he was done Shane brought him in for another kiss. 

The fact that amber eyes were watching them from the shadows did nothing to sway them for spending the entire day tangled in each other’s arms, kissing as if it was the only way for them to get breath into their lungs. This was all Ryan had ever wanted in life, and as Shane whispered a quiet “I love you” into his skin as they kissed, he knew Shane felt the same, and nothing could ever break them apart, human or otherworldly force. 


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With his demonic powers revealed, Shane begins to suffer the effects of the demon finding him again. Nights of unimaginable destruction and torture culminate in a tragic accident that just might separate the soulmates forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back again!  
> *Warning* This chapter does contain implied/referenced character death, gore and injury. The tags have been updated accordingly.

 

 

Shane was expecting things to be slightly awkward between Ryan and him when they returned to the office on the Monday after those surprise revelations. They have honestly spent most of the weekend getting to know each other’s bodies since they were already so familiar with every other aspect of each other, but there was something niggling in the back of Shane’s mind that not everything was okay. There had been some big revelations, and while Ryan was adamant he was okay with it all, Shane knew that there was still more things they needed to speak about. Still, while Ryan seemed happy to leave it be, Shane was not going to rock the boat.

The demon on the other hand? Well, they were all too happy to tip them into the rushing rapids and leave them to sink or swim.

It was a headache that first started it all. Persistent and annoying, Shane took painkillers and drank more water than normal to get rid of it, and promised Ryan he was okay when he started to worry. The news that they were soulmates made it around the Buzzfeed office pretty fast, and even seemed to have leaked online as well – Shane wasn’t sure how – so they had a lot of fans freaking out at them over social media. It was positive but it was a lot and Shane was already feeling a little overwhelmed with it all, so he had taken a break. Really that should have helped the headache, but it didn’t. Before long there was a laundry list of things that only made the feeling worse and it made Shane feel as if he couldn’t complete a normal day.

Bright lights? Nope.

Talking? Nope.

Using a computer? Nope.

Listening to music? Nope.

Listening to the voice overs for Unsolved? Nope.

Taking painkillers? Nope.

Ryan cornered him when the headache had been there for a week and a half.

“Do you need to see a doctor?” He asked, using one arm to keep Shane at the desk on the Unsolved set after the others had left, “I’m worried.”

“A doctor probably wouldn’t be able to help.” Shane muttered, massaging his temples for the sixth time that hour. “A priest would be better.”

“I’ve still got Father Thomas’ number.” Ryan said, and he was completely serious. Touching, but Shane wasn’t sure he wanted anyone else knowing the personal misdeeds of his childhood, so he shook his head.  
“Shane-.”

“I know you’re worried Ryan but I know what’s causing this.” Shane cut in, “And eventually it will stop.”

“He needs to stop now.” Ryan stated, pulling a face, “There’s no use in hurting you, it won’t change anything that he doesn’t like.”

Shane gave him an odd look and Ryan blinked, “What?”

“You’ve never spoken so boldly about a demon before.” Shane said, “It’s weird.”

Flushing, Ryan muttered “Well no demon has ever really messed with my boyfriend before,” before he moved back and let Shane up. “I really am worried though.” He added, “Can we…try any rituals? Any cleansings? It might help.”

“Nothing will get rid of him Ryan, and it will only make him angrier if we try. Trust me, it will pass. He’ll get bored.” Shane made sure his tone was reassuring and yet Ryan still didn’t seem convinced. And Shane didn’t blame him, but he wasn’t about to admit to Ryan that he was concerned this headache would never fade until he was bedbound at the demon’s mercy.

Or how terrifying it was to find out he was correct.

It was 3am when it happened, and Shane had never wanted to feel that sense of helplessness again. His eyes were open, and his body was moving, but he wasn’t in control, seated in his own mind like a backseat passenger as he stood and stretched, cracking his neck before crossing to the mirror.

Amber eyes greeted him.

“Oh Madej, why do you look so sad?”

It was his voice that said the words, his lips that framed them, but not Shane that had said them.

_Amadeus._

“Astute of you, of course it’s me. And I know you’ve been feeling my presence this last week. Did you think I would leave you alone? No Madej, you belong to me. And I’m going to make sure you remember that.”

_How could I forget. Please…I don’t want to-._

“You have no choice.”

Looking in the mirror, Shane felt his body hunch over as the transformation set in. Horns grew from the scars on his head, angular and pointed, almost joining at a point over his head like a halo. A tail forced its way from his skin, ripping mercilessly through with a spray of blood, the end of the tail the same shape as the halo of horns protruding from his scalp, but the worst pain was the scars on his chest. Shane could feel Amadeus’ claws pushing through the skin, forcing blood out of the lines that criss-crossed Shane’s torso until his shirt was stained and it dripped to the tile floor.

“Beautiful. Now, let’s go hunting.”

\--

It had been a long time since Shane had awoken with blood on his hands, but it looked as if he was treading back into old territory when his eyes opened the next morning. His entire body felt weak, strung out and horribly sticky, and when Shane reached up to rub his eyes he saw why. Blood spots on his fingers, under his nails, down his arms all the way up to his shirt sleeves. His bedsheets were covered, streaks dripped along his cheeks from where it seemed he had revelled in the mess, and the smell was overpowering. Despite his aching body, Shane forced himself up the bathroom to vomit, hunching over the toilet and praying that the blood was his own, from the numerous cuts Amadeus had given him last night.

Huh…saying the demon’s name was easier than it had been before. Shane had been so careful around Ryan, and yet it came to the tip of his tongue instinctively when the man was not around.

It only served to make him feel sicker.

He had work, had to face his friends and co-workers and _Ryan_ knowing that last night he had done something dreadful. Amadeus had made him do something dreadful. And if he was honest, Shane really didn’t want to go. He didn’t want to move from this position, dry-heaving and dribbling acid from his lips to the toilet bowl until his entire stomach came up. What a visual that would be.

Still, he needed to move, at least to call Buzzfeed and claim the day off. Sickness wasn’t an excuse he really should use again, but Shane was in no mental mood to lie, and when the office heard his voice on the end of the line, they accepted it with no query. Collapsing onto his bed, Shane closed his eyes only to immediately open them.

Memories had flooded in behind his lids, memories of a body beneath him, ripped open by claws – his claws – and the squelch of insides as he searched for the soul buried deep inside. The compulsion, the drive, the need for a soul was enough to send him haywire when Amadeus took control, because that was his job. It was his role, the demon made sure of it. Heaving again, Shane knew there was nothing in his stomach to cough up, so he dealt with the acidic pain and forced his eyes closed again.

Years ago, he had made a promise to himself to remember, to always remember when Amadeus made him do these things. It was an insult to the memory of whoever he had killed to simply forget and carry on with his life as if nothing had happened, no matter how sick or twisted the memories were. He had to face them.

A face swam into his mind. A girl, long hair, pretty dress, carrying a small purse, ready for a good night out. She was alone, checking her appearance in the mirror of a car door, fixing a small smudge of makeup. Friends called for her, but she told them to go ahead, she was waiting for the final friend to show up so they didn’t have to enter alone. Foolish, Shane had thought at that time. It left her open to him. She wasn’t a soul that had forsaken love, and nor was she a pure soul. No, she was like Shane. She had made a deal with Amadeus and broken it before going on the run. Tracking her down was easy because of that, and when she saw Shane’s face in the car mirror behind her, she knew who he was and why he was there. She saw the horns, the tail, the amber eyes, she saw it all and she didn’t scream, didn’t struggle when Shane grabbed her and disappeared into the shadows of an alley. She didn’t resist when he slashed her throat, because she knew this day was coming, and she couldn’t resist Amadeus, in the same way Shane couldn’t fight as the demon forced him to tear into her skin and rip her apart.

Her face looked familiar, Shane thought, as the memory tapered out to him sitting next to her body in the alleyway, panting hard and listening to Amadeus’ pleased sounds at the taste of her soul.

He knew her.

She was…she was…she-.

Shane was broken from his recollection by the harsh ringing of his phone, making him jump badly and knock the device to the floor in his haste to shut it up. Groping for it over the bed, Shane didn’t check the caller ID as he pressed it to his ear and muttered a croaky “Hello?”

“ _Shane!”_ Ryan’s voice brought both joy and an overwhelming feeling of needing to be sick again. “ _Are you okay? I just got told you called in sick and everyone’s freaking out?”_

“Why?” Shane mumbled, “I’ve been sick before, I’m not Superman.”

“ _That’s not it at all._ ” There was something panicky in Ryan’s tone that Shane did not like, and he sat up, concerned and a little wary.

“What’s going on Ry?”

Silence, and a heavy swallow before, “ _Someone from work was killed last night.”_

“What?!”

“ _Do you remember Dianna? She was an intern, helped fill in spaces for us a few times even when we had sicknesses to fill. This morning she was found dead in an alleyway, with her throat slashed. With you not being in, people started talking and fear mongering with each other.”_

As Ryan continued to speak, admitting he had felt a little panicked and needed to call Shane despite knowing the man was probably sick as he had said, Shane went into panic mode himself. Amadeus had made him kill someone he knew, someone he worked with, but there was more to that. Dianna had been a contracted human under Amadeus, she had summoned the demon and made a deal with him before breaking it just like Shane. How old had she been? Was she as young as she said, or was she stuck at that age following the break of her deal? Had she known about him before he killed her? He was well known amongst both the demonic and the human contractee circles as Amadeus’ pet and hunter.

She hadn’t said a thing.

She hadn’t resisted.

She must have known her time was coming the first time she laid eyes on Shane, and was surprised to know she had lasted so long.

Maybe she had felt hope in those last few weeks of Shane paying no attention to her. Maybe she had assumed that Shane had broken away and was no longer Amadeus’ lapdog. Maybe she had been out that night because she finally felt safe to enjoy herself without looking into the shadows wondering when her rebelliousness was going to cost her.

And now she was dead.

Ryan was saying Shane’s name over and over, trying to get an answer from him, but Shane couldn’t hear him properly. He was moving again without thinking, without control, rushing to the toilet to vomit whatever he could, acidic bile dripping into the water as he coughed and sobbed.

Fuck.

Fuck.

Fuck.

He didn’t remember Ryan arriving at his home, didn’t hear him come in or call out his name to try and find him. All he remembered was soothing, cool hands running through his hair and rubbing his back, and a soft voice telling him it was all going to be okay. Shane remembered being led back to bed and a cold compress being pressed to his forehead, before the mattress dipped next to him and Ryan carded his fingers through Shane’s sweaty hair.

“I killed her.” He slurred the words out, fighting against the unconsciousness of shock that was threatening to overcome him. “Me. And him. And Ama-Ama-…and him.”

Ryan responded but Shane couldn’t hear him, although the words were soft and sounded soothing. He couldn’t fight it anymore, and his eyes slipped closed as his soul was dragged down into the torturous realm of dreams.

The next time he woke up, it wasn’t to blood on his hands but to Ryan gently wiping his face with a cloth and talking on the phone.

“I won’t be back today…I know I’m sorry but Shane is really sick and he needs help…It’s not like that he’s just-…I know, I’ll make it up tomorrow. Don’t worry, the episode will be ready before the deadline…I’ve got to go, he’s awake…thanks.”

“Who was that?” Shane whispered, trying to sit up only to have Ryan push him back down.

“Just work,” Ryan shrugged, “Explaining my sudden absence. How you feeling big guy?”

“Tired.” Shane admitted, “And a little groggy. I don’t remember you getting here.”

“You were busy puking your non-existent guts up,” Ryan teased, “But I…you said something troubling.”

“I meant it.” Shane said suddenly, “I remember saying it. And I meant it. I did it, Ryan, I killed her.”

Ryan’s face fell and went pale at the same time, and his hand drew back from Shane’s face, but only for a moment before he put it back in place. “You mean the demon did?”

“My hands did,” Shane muttered darkly, “My hands and my feet and my body killed her, controlled or not. It was me.”

Silence stretched between them for the longest time, Ryan keeping the cool cloth on Shane’s forehead as Shane searched his expression for disgust, hatred, any kind of negative emotion. Ryan must be feeling something, anything, he had _killed_ someone. A colleague of theirs, in cold blood.

Or not so cold blood.

“A demon’s actions cannot be put on the host.” Ryan said eventually, and it was such a weird sentence to hear that Shane had to take a few moments to really process it.

“What?”

“Father Thomas said that to me. I…called him after one of our shoots once, scared that I had been followed by something. He told me that when a demon possesses someone, it’s the demon that is accountable for the actions of said host. The person who invited the demon in, no matter how willingly, is not the one responsible for what the demon makes them do.” Ryan explained, and there was a serious look on his face, the expression he always wore when speaking about demons, other than fear of course. He truly believed those words, but Shane could only hear hollowness in them, a hollow meaning to excuse the horrid behaviours of people who had claimed demonic possession but might never have been truly possessed.

Still…it was nice to know that Ryan was on his side, even if Shane wasn’t.

“Maybe we should call Father Thomas?” Ryan suggested suddenly, his hand coming from Shane’s face to trail down his arm and curl their fingers together, “Ask him some hypothetical questions, frame it like it’s research for an episode?”

Shane shook his head, “No. I don’t want to talk about this to anyone Ryan, even Father Thomas. I don’t want to bring him into it, because it just gives more targets for Am-…this demon.”

Ryan frowned. “Still won’t you tell me its name?”

“Names have power.” Shane muttered, “And I don’t want you researching him and finding out more on him. I’ve told you more than I should have, and his promises aren’t always true. So far, he’s kept you out of it, but I don’t know how long that will last Ryan. I have to protect you.”

“I can protect myself!”

“With holy water?” Shane asked, sitting up and casting an eye to the glass of water on the table, noting how Ryan looked sheepish and guilty at the same time, “Yeah, I can tell it’s holy water Ryan. You feel the need to carry that around me?”

“To protect you from it.” Ryan clarified defensively, “Not because I’m scared, but because I don’t want to entertain a demon. I just want you.”

It should have been touching, but Shane was too riled up. His skin was itching, burning, and he had the desire to simply stand under an ice-cold shower until every single part of him was numb, even the feelings. Ryan was still talking, defending the holy water, defending Shane, just constantly defending when all Shane felt was guilt. It was hard to listen to, hard to hear Ryan trying to pass accountability onto Amadeus – without knowing his name – when Shane knew the truth.

Finally, it grew too much.

“Stop apologising for me!” He snapped, and Ryan jumped, not expecting such a growling order. Shane hunched over on the bed before slipping out of it, pacing back and forth. He could feel a growing pain in his head, in his hands and feet and teeth, the demonic features he took when Amadeus possessed him threatening to burst forth.   
“I did this to myself, I’ve no one to blame but myself. People die because I was so pig-headed that I thought I could _deny_ _a demon_ and run away from a deal. I though I could continue torturing people as a demon with _no consequence._ And he taught me wrong. Everything I do, everything he _makes me do_ is a direct result of my own ego, Ryan, so yes, I am accountable for my actions! And trying to take that away from me is an insult to the dead!”

He ranted for longer than he had wanted to, but it felt good to get the pent-up emotions out. Shane always felt angry after he had killed someone, and this was no different. Ryan, however, was sitting on the bed, recoiling from him in fear. And when Shane turned and saw the mirror, he knew why.

Amber eyes that were slit like a demon’s, and sharp fangs stared back at him. There was blood trickling from the scars on his head, evidence that the horns were trying to make themselves known, and his fingers were black and clawed at the end. He looked like a demon.

It was probably the first time Ryan had ever seen him look like a demon.

And he was afraid.

“Ryan-.”

“I’m…gonna go.” Ryan whispered, standing from the bed but making no attempts to leave. Shane was stood between him and the door, and he was afraid to even try.

“Ryan I’m sorry I-.”

“I just need to go!” Ryan insisted, his entire body tense.

Shane stood aside, making himself as small as possible so Ryan could rush past him and out of the front door. It slammed shut, all the more evidence that Ryan was truly gone, and Shane cursed himself in frustration. Ryan was probably the only person in the world that would understand and love him despite being a demon, and with one stupid slip up, he had ruined that.

Amadeus would be happy, wherever he was lurking.

Traipsing to the bathroom, Shane turned the shower on as cold as it would go and sat under the spray, long legs tucked up against his body, head on his knees. He had given up any chance of a normal life a long time ago, and now he was cursed to ruin Ryan’s chances.

It hurt.

Love hurt.

But then, he had always known that.

\--

Honestly Shane wasn’t sure how he hadn’t lost his job with Buzzfeed with the amount of sick days he was taking, but somehow when a week had passed and no one had rung him to say he was fired, he felt a little better about going back in. It helped that Ryan called him and told him they needed to started prepping for the next episode of Supernatural or they’d fall behind schedule. Being treated normally helped, but Shane was still nervous when he walked quietly into the office and took his seat.

Ryan’s desk was empty.

He spent five minutes telling everyone where he had been, making up an excuse of being sick, and then waited with bated breath for Ryan to appear. Twenty minutes later his phone vibrated with a message from Ryan, asking him to come down to the Unsolved set. Locking his computer, Shane caught up his laptop to make it look like he was working and left. It felt like an agonising walk, but when Shane turned into the set, all anxiety at seeing Ryan faded.

The man was leaning against the desk, and in his hands he was carrying a coffee from Shane’s favourite café, and a breakfast balm. He looked tired, and apologetic, and Shane paused only a second before approaching him.

“I’m sorry I ran out on you.” Ryan murmured quietly, “I just got-.”

“Scared.” Shane finished and Ryan nodded, “I know. I’m sorry I lost control. It’s just, I like to keep my head out of the clouds and accept that these terrible things are happening by my hand. It feels disrespectful otherwise.”

“I get it, I think.” Ryan said, “But I’m still sorry.” He held up the food and drink in his hands, “Peace offering?”

Shane took them and put them on the desk before pulling Ryan into a hug. “None needed. Now, come on little guy, tell me about our newest video.”

Sticking his lip out at the name, Ryan shoved Shane lightly before following him back upstairs to their main workstations. “It’s Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum.” He began, “Supposedly super haunted, lots of other Paranormal shows have been there and gathered evidence, and it’s time for the Ghoul Boys to put them all to shame.”

Shane grinned, “Easy peasy. So, where are we going?”

-

Trans-Allegheny was in West Virginia, so they had a good amount of travelling and planning to do. Shane was a little apprehensive about getting on a plane after the last time, but this trip went smoothly. Turbulence hit the plane, and Ryan spilt coffee on his bare leg and had to get ice from the attendant to soothe it, but other than that they landed in O’Hare International Airport without any problems.

It felt weird to be home, or as home as he could be, in Chicago again. It was where it had all began, so many years ago and the city sure had changed. Shane wanted to go and wander the streets, find his old home, sit in the field again if it was still there, but their lay over was not long enough. They stayed in the airport, Ryan working on last minute research and scripting, while Shane made sure the hotel reservations and ghost hunting experience had booked correctly. Forty minutes into their layover, Shane felt the change happen.

Nothing physically gave it away this time, but he could feel Amadeus’ claws dipping into his mind and slowly grasping control. Strangers continued walking past as Shane tilted his head back in what could have been a natural move of boredom but was a calculated expression of someone stalking their prey. Someone in this building, in this terminal, was on Amadeus’ list, a victim in the making. Shane desperately wanted to resist, but his eyes soon locked on to the target.

A businessman, late thirties or early forties, carrying a small carryon bag and nothing else. He was looking at his watch, impatient and annoyed, until a younger woman joined him. She looked classy and glamourous, but she didn’t seem happy about the way he wrapped an arm around his shoulder. They had been fighting, she wanted him to leave his wife, and he was adamant she would remain a booty call. Love ruined things, he thought, and he had told her so. Love was forsaken in his brain, and Amadeus craved his soul. Ryan was so engrossed in his work he barely acknowledged Shane as he said he was going to the bathroom, and he especially didn’t notice as Shane followed the two towards the airport bathrooms.

There was a taxi waiting for them, the man said, they didn’t have time for a bathroom break, but the woman ignored him. The taxi would be waiting for a long time, Shane thought idly, as his body followed the man and paralysed him easily with a click of his fingers. All it took was a gentle hand on the man’s back, and they disappeared into the disabled toilet.

When Shane emerged, he was licking the last bits of blood from his lips and popped chewing gum into his mouth. His eyes were amber, but one blink had them brown, and suddenly he was back in full control again.

And there was a dead man just feet from him.

Running into the men’s bathroom, Shane collapsed in a stall and began to vomit, sweat on his brow and entire body shaking. How could…how could Amadeus make him do this? In an airport? With Ryan sitting not that far away, excitedly awaiting their flight being called so they could get to West Virginia and begin to film the latest episode. Shane couldn’t cancel this, he just couldn’t, and that was precisely what Amadeus had been counting on. He knew every weakness of his toy, and Ryan was one of the bigger ones.

A hand knocked on the stall door and someone asked Shane if he was okay. Standing and wiping his mouth with a shaking hand, Shane exited the stall and gave a concerned looking older man a shaky smile.

“Bad hotdogs.” He lied and the older man gave him a sympathetic look and advice to never eat the vendor hotdogs in the airport. Shane nodded along before he wandered back to his seat aimlessly, too antsy to sit down but not wanting to draw unnecessary attention to himself.

“Shane?” Ryan was looking at him as he sat, one long leg already bouncing, “You okay? You look sick.”

“Yeah.” Shane said, “I’m fine. Let’s go to the gate.”

“We don’t have a gate.” Ryan pointed out, but when he looked up at the display above them, he realised they did. Somehow the overlay had disappeared in a flash and he panicked, gathering up his laptop and other belongings and making sure he hadn’t dropped anything as Shane watched him, dread filling him as people walked to the disabled bathroom only to walk away when they found the door locked.

Or blocked.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Ryan asked in concern, hand coming up to test Shane’s forehead. “You’re really burning up.”

“I can’t talk about it here.” Shane choked, feeling his eyes fill with tears as Ryan cupped his cheek gently, eyes so soft and full of concern, “Please Ry, we have to get on the plane.”

His eyes flicked to the bathrooms again as an attendant approached the disabled door and Ryan followed his gaze, frowning. The woman had since left the female bathroom and was looking for her partner, causing quite a commotion, and it only made Ryan frown more. Thankfully, he didn’t resist as Shane took his hand and began to pull him towards the gate.

They filed onto the plane, holidaymakers and homeward bound travellers moving around them with gusto, as Shane curled up in the window seat. Ryan’s concern only grew, as did the rest of the crews, but Shane waved them off. It was only when the plane had taxied to the runway and was roaring down it to take off did Shane lean over and tell Ryan what had happened.

“He struck again,” He whispered, voice hoarse from holding back tears, “I…I did it again.”

Ryan tensed under him, before immediately moving and drawing Shane’s head to his chest.

No one commented how Shane kept himself buried in the warmth and safety of Ryan’s arms and cried the entire journey.

News of the death at O’Hare airport hit the plane an hour into their journey, as the plane was making final approach into North Central Airport. The Captain spoke to the plane, advising the passengers that there had been an incident just before the plane had left O’Hare, and by request of the Chicago Police Department, officers were waiting to meet the plane in West Virginia to talk to the passengers to see if they had seen anything. Shane trembled at the announcement and Ryan had a grim expression on his face, but it was nothing more than any of the other passengers, all of whom seemed shocked to hear someone had died in the airport before they left.

It was all anyone talked about as the plane landed and taxied to the gate.

Ryan was taken off to a different interview room than Shane, and he was hoping that Shane’s tear-streaked face did not arouse the suspicions of the police gathered there to interview them. He maintained that during the suspected time of death, he had been in the lounge working on his upcoming video for Buzzfeed Unsolved and had neither seen nor interacted with the man who had been found dead. Through the interview he managed to glean that it seemed the man had died of a heart attack, but the death was being treated as suspicious until an autopsy could confirm that cause of death and give the verdict of it being natural. No one on the plane was an official suspect, but the police wanted to gather all possible evidence, and witness statements. All Ryan wanted to do was get back to Shane, and yet when he was finally released from questioning, he found the man waiting for him, sitting at the back of the small lounge they had been made to wait in and scrolling through his phone.

“Hey,” Ryan said as he approached, “You good? Have they spoken to you?”

“Yeah.” Shane nodded, standing and stretching, “It’s all good. Let’s go.”

“What about the crew?” Ryan asked, glancing around to see if he could see TJ, Devon or Mark anywhere in the crowd of people meeting up in the small hall to organise collection of their luggage.

“I told them to go on ahead.” Shane murmured, pulling Ryan close into a hug, “I just needed a moment with you.”

Ryan understood, and wrapped his arms around Shane’s waist to pull the man into a tight hug. Despite the laid-back attitude Shane seemed to be exuding to everyone around them, Ryan could sense the unease and discomfort in his very soul, and the wish to break down again like he had after Dianna’s death, but he couldn’t.

“It’s okay Shane,” Ryan soothed quietly, rubbing his fingers gently up and down Shane’s back and Shane shivered at the touch, “He’s trying to break you.”

“He’s succeeding.” Shane breathed, and the way his voice cracked as he spoke broke Ryan’s heart. “I can’t…I don’t want to…I just want to-.”

“Hey, easy.” Ryan was quick to sit them down and let Shane bury his face in his neck at a more comfortable angle, “Shane, listen to me. It’s late, we’ve been delayed more than we were expecting. So, let’s contact the Asylum and let them know what happened and see if we can push the overnight stay back a day. We’ve got an extra day in West Virginia anyway just in case anything happened, and we had to stay, so it won’t affect our flights home. We can have a day, just you and me. Let me show you why he’s not going to break you, and why I’m not going to leave you. Please?”

Shane pulled out of the hug and took a steadying breath as he locked onto Ryan’s dark eyes, searching for any kind of lie in them. When he found none, he nodded and leaned in to plant a light kiss on Ryan’s lips.

“Thank you.”

“I got your back, big guy,” Ryan smiled, “We’re the ghoul boys, a package deal. And I’m your soulmate. No demon is ever going to change that.”

Shane liked the conviction in those words, it somehow soothed the turmoil in his soul. Slipping his hand into Ryan’s, they stood together and began to join the trickle of passengers still making their way out of the small hall to baggage claim, to see if they could salvage this trip and return to LA with something viable.

 Thankfully the Asylum were happy to push their tour back by one night. It was a slow season for them, and Buzzfeed had paid extra to get Ryan and Shane access to areas not generally open to the public. By the time they reached the hotel at around 1am, Shane was dead on his feet but Ryan was wired from all the plan changes they had to make. Devon and Mark said they could go over the script and details and make sure they had everything sorted out properly for tomorrow if he wanted, but Ryan knew that leaving Shane alone wasn’t a good idea, so he declined.

“Oh so you’re sharing a room?” TJ asked with a grin and Ryan gave him a raised eyebrow, “Gonna put a barrier between you again?”

“No need this time Teej,” Ryan shot back, but there was no malice to his words.

As he helped Shane over the threshold of their room, TJ took his arm and stopped him from following.

“Is Shane okay?” He asked, the joking tone had been replaced with a seriousness, “He’s been out of sorts since we boarded the plane.”

“He’s still getting over the bug he caught,” Ryan lied, “Probably a bit too early for him to be travelling and getting into stressful situations. Plus, you know, Chicago is his town, it’s probably weird to hear someone died in the airport bathroom.”

“It was weird.” TJ agreed, “Devon suggested you guys tell Buzzfeed, in case the police want any more info from you.”

“Yeah that’s a good idea,” Ryan nodded, still unhappy about hearing TJ speak about Buzzfeed since the company had made him redundant. “We can do it in the morning. I’m glad you get to work with us on some videos Teej, it’s nice having you back. Do you mind if I-.” He jerked his thumb over his shoulder to the room where Shane had simply collapsed onto the bed, and TJ shook his head.

“Sure, sure. Well, at least we can go sightseeing tomorrow.” He chuckled quietly, before walking off toward his own room.

Ryan watched him go before joining Shane in their shared room. The man was sprawled on the bed, eyes closed and breathing light, but Ryan could tell he wasn’t asleep from the way his fingers were curled into the bedsheets.

“You gonna brush your teeth?” He asked, nudging at Shane’s foot and Shane grunted something but stood and traipsed to the bathroom. He looked terrible, and he was still sweating, long limbs trembling as if moving was difficult for him. Ryan assumed it was, considering how Shane had been after Dianna. Demonic possession was no joke, now more than ever.   
“Do you wanna talk?” Ryan added on as he joined Shane in the bathroom, gently pulling off Shane’s beanie as Shane went through the motions of his night-time ritual.

“No.”

“Do you want to cuddle?”

“Yes.”

Smiling fondly at the one-word answers, conveying Shane’s tiredness more than any turmoil inside him, Ryan finished in the bathroom first and settled into the double bed. It was comfortable, and the wired feeling in his bones disappeared as soon as his head hit the pillow, but he forced himself to stay awake for Shane. It only took five minutes for him to be finished as well before crawling into the bed. He stayed low, burying his face into Ryan’s chest again and Ryan slid one arm under Shane’s neck and wrapped the other around him, ignoring the rather hilarious way Shane’s legs dangled off the end of the bed as they settled comfortably into a position to sleep. Whatever Shane wanted right now, he would get, because he was vulnerable. And Ryan was going to make sure that this demon did not get the better of Shane, or him.

\--

Having a day off to simply wander West Virginia ended up being just what they both needed. By the time they approached Trans-Allegheny Lunatic Asylum on their second day, Shane was better and back to relatively normal banter with Ryan, although when no one was looking, he did look a little down. Ryan kept their hands linked as they wandered the Asylum, getting a feel for it before they helped Mark, Devon and TJ set up cameras, heat detection, motion sensors and other bits and pieces, ready for the night ahead.

“This place is creepy.” Ryan sighed, running a hand through his hair as Shane attached a camera to a tripod and made sure it was facing the door of the room they were in, “I really don’t like it.”

“It’s got a charm to it.” Shane teased, “A nice building.”

Ryan rolled his eyes, “You would say that, I bet you feel right at home.”

“Hey now, don’t call out my craziness.” Shane laughed, and Ryan felt a thread of guilt run through him until he heard Shane’s genuine laughter. “It’s a bit too dusty to make it my home.”

“I’m sure you could clean it up in no time.” Ryan said, stretching and leaving the room with Shane following him, making their way back down to the entrance of the main building, where Mark was checking the camera batteries they had brought.

“Are you two sleeping here?” He asked.

“Yup.” Shane grinned, “Sure are. Once the doors are locked, there’s no coming out. So, it means you are too.”

Mark did not look concerned, “Mmhmm. So, are we gonna start with the history? This is a pretty good place for it.”

Glancing around the entrance hall, Ryan gave his agreement, “Better place than some of the rooms in there.”

“Don’t worry Ryan, we’ll be in them soon enough,” Shane teased, and Ryan pushed at his arm before taking a seat and running mentally over the script. They had a couple of hours before the sun went down and their true investigation began, more than enough time for a couple of takes at the history and theories for the beginning of the video.

By the time TJ and Devon met up with them again, it was time.

“I think we should start in some of the rooms that aren’t open to the public.” Devon announced, “Decide which ones are best for solo investigations as we go. Any objections?”

Everyone shook their heads, Ryan and Shane helped each other get strapped up with cameras and equipment, before the Asylum staff told them the ground rules, and that they would be back in the morning to let them out. As the door closed and locked, Ryan swallowed nervously and automatically reached for Shane’s hand.

“We’re a package deal remember?” Shane smiled, squeezing Ryan’s hand comfortingly, “I got your back.”

It was all Ryan needed to get going, and he led the way up the stairs towards one of the rooms at the back of the main building, where most of the paranormal activity was said to take place. They had been warned that some of these rooms did not have stable flooring, but the rooms that were being opened to them shouldn’t have any structural problems.

Shane felt a cold breeze down his back as they walked through the first door, and he shivered automatically.

“Already starting on your wind explanation?” Ryan asked jokingly and Shane laughed half-heartedly but said nothing.

He had a bad feeling, like being watched.

Glancing over his shoulder as Ryan went deeper into the room, Shane was sure he saw amber eyes staring back and started, immediately reaching for Ryan.

“Whoa Shane, relax.” He said, glancing at where Shane had tugged him backwards with his eyes fixed in the corner. “What the fuck is that?!”

In the corner was what looked like a shadowy figure, and Ryan’s eyes blew wide as the camera swung towards it. It captured the figure, and everyone was frozen for a moment, no one thinking to turn on a flashlight and find out what it was, because it seemed so real.

So alive.

Shane was taking steps back, eyes fixed on the two amber points in the middle of the shadows that no one else seemed to be able to see. He needed to prove it wasn’t Amadeus haunting them, messing with them, and his hand grappled with his flashlight, finally bringing it up to show that the thing stood in the corner was a mannequin, old and decrepit but human enough.

“Oh my god.” Ryan breathed a sigh of relief, bending over and breathing hard, “I think I just nearly had a heart attack. Fuck you Sha-.”

He never got to finish his sentence, words drowned out by a low rumbling followed by an almighty crash and bang. The floor shook, and Ryan jumped when he saw a crack run under his feet, looking back in horror at where Shane had once been standing – there was now only a hole.

“Shit!”

“Shane!”

“Quick get the good light!”

The four of them raced to the edge of the hole, cautious about the rest of it caving in, to try and see where Shane had disappeared to. Dust was billowing around the room, blocking their vision and Ryan’s heart was in his feet as he yelled Shane’s name, begging for him to reply, to tell them he was okay.

They had told them that the rooms were safe, how did this happen?

“There he is!” TJ shouted, his own light trained on a pale hand.

Shane’s hand.

“Shane! Can you hear us? Are you okay?!” Devon called.

“Oh…my god.” Mark breathed, and everyone’s attention was pulled to the beam of his light, the main camera light.

It was trained in the middle of Shane’s body, and reflecting off a metal pole that was sticking out of his abdomen, glistening with slick blood.

“SHANE!”

**Author's Note:**

> My [Tumblr](https://egotisticalfloof.tumblr.com/)


End file.
